Self Harm Recovery Daily Check-in : Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
Hey hey beautiful beings <3
Today we're starting a new month as it's the first day of September. I don't really know why but I always think of September as a new start, a period of the year full of first times and trying out new stuff. Maybe some of you are coming back from vacation or going back to school/work, maybe you're starting a new hobby or going back to old ones that you enjoyed. Whatever you've decided to do through this month, I hope things go smoothly for you and that you get the support you need. If need be, we're always here for you <3
Check-in questions :
1) How are you today ? Feel free to share your thoughts !
2) What does the word 'beginning' remind you of ?
3) Are there any old habits that you want to get rid of ?
Song recommendation of the day : Man on a wire by The Script.
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@Slizzy564
Hey, hey it's you again! x)
1) How are you today ? Feel free to share your thoughts !
I'm fine. I'm out of words in this question right now.
2) What does the word 'beginning' remind you of ?
The word 'beginning' reminds me of video games. In a game, you have a world where you start your journey and gain EXP (experience points) as you level up. It's like real-life where you always begin at the bottom. There are also different game genres that you can compare to the adventures we face in reality. Oh boy, you can also commit crimes in video games that you can't do in real life! :D
3) Are there any old habits that you want to get rid of ?
I have two habits that I want to get rid of: A possible and impossible one. For the possible one, I'll choose the habit of doing nothing physical for a long, long time. Like 30 minutes? That's the time my brain is fantasizing about a lot of things.
For the impossible one, I'll choose the habit of hiding secrets from my honest. Lovely. Elder brother. It's a good thing that he isn't as manipulative as me, but I hope his skills in lying improve. He is too transparent. Both of us are like one coin with different sides. I've seen popular tv-series/movies where younger siblings are the antagonist. As I grew up, it makes perfect sense! On second thought, I think they are both impossible for now. Haha.
Thanks for reading.
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Ah yes it's me again ;)
Good to hear that you're fine. We don't always have something that we want to share, that's fine too ;)
Oh yeah video games ! That's a cool thought ! There are many common elements between life and video games and yeah I like the fact that maybe through a game we can do things that we'd never do in real life. Not only crimes and stuff like that but I know that personally I'm much braver and bold in video games than in real life x) Any games that you enjoy ?
Ah exercise is a good way to keep thoughts at bay ! Though if you really don't want to do it then I suppose you could find something else ;) Brains are full of wild ideas aren't they ? :)
Hum I don't know about hiding secrets, I suppose it depends what you're hiding but I always tend to think that everyone has to have their own personal world you know ? I have things that I don't want to share with my older brother, just the same as he doesn't share everything with me. Though it is funny that you're both opposites, maybe you could learn from each other ? I can understand how being too transparent isn't always good but maybe that could help you with your lying tendancies. As for younger siblings being the antagonist, I don't know really ... Why do you think it makes sense ?
It's okay if they're impossible for now, time is always needed when trying to change onself !
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Hey, Thanks for the reply :)
Right. A lot of people are brave in video games, including myself. The games that I enjoyed are usually story driven (mostly RPG) like Mother 3 and Fractal Space. I love it more when a game allows you to pick a choice that can affect the story like Undertale or Tsukihime. There's a sense of achievement that makes me happy whenever I finished these types of games. What about you?
Yeah, our brain attracts a lot of wild ideas that can make us stay awake all night. It is sometimes troublesome.
I agree with everything you said about personal worlds. My brother mainly got his personality from mom, and I got mine from dad. It's cute that you find us being opposites funny. x) Maybe you have a lot of similarities with your siblings. Anyway, my brother does learn something from me, like sneaky tactics. And I learned honesty through him. In a way, our difference is a benefit. As for me, younger siblings as an antagonist makes sense, especially when raised in a terrible enviroment. I notice that they can be competitive for affection or achievements to the part that they will rely on manipulation and lies to beat their elder sibling. It's tragically beautiful. It's common to see a siblings fight, but it's entertaining to see how it unfolds if executed well. Gosh, that's why parenting had a big impact on a child.
Thanks for reading.
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Oh nice ! You know I enjoy watching people play story driven games, I think it's mainly just because I like stories x) Though I do like the idea of choosing your own tale to tell, each person having their own ending :) I can understand the sense of acheivement when you finish them ! As for myself, I don't really play and when I do it's usually basic shooting games, helps me deconnect and I let my mind wonder x)
It's nice that you being opposites can help you learn and progress in different areas :) And you're right, I do have a lot of similarities with my brother :) Oh okay I understand what you meant by younger siblings being an antagonist. I think your last remark about parenting being so important is very true. I tend to think (and I'm not saying that I'm right at all) that siblings don't tend to fight so much if the parents give them both the same amount of attention. I know my mum used to give all her attention to my brother and boy was it annoying x) As you say, families are tragically beautiful, each one is so unique and everything seems so dramatic ! Truly a fascinating topic !
@Slizzy564 Hey it's a bit late of a reply but it's alright :))
1) How are you today ? Feel free to share your thoughts !
Hihi! I'm doing alright today and feeling really excited about what I want to do. I have set aside some time to do some self-care activities which include a lot of reading and a lot of creative art stuffs! :D I'm starting to penpal my friends to help fund the United States Postal Service, so I'm going to be creating some stickers for them and writing some cool letters!
2) What does the word 'beginning' remind you of ?
It reminds me of fresh starts and a fresh mind <3 I've been needing that and I love the beginning of months so that I can have a fresh start to things!
3) Are there any old habits that you want to get rid of ?
Yes- overthinking and overanalyzing things is my absolute worst habit. I'll listen to something completely unrelated to me and somehow apply it to my life and I'll suddenly convince myself that I'm a bad person or something :o but I guess that reflects on how I try to be better? :o
@TheAtticusFinch
Hey there :)
Good to hear that you're doing well ! You seem to have a lot of things planned, hope those self care activities go well :) What are you reading ? :) And yay for creative art stuff, loving that one :) That penpal project sounds really cool too :)
Fresh starts are so nice now and again ! Good to set back the clocks and start over from a different point of view :) Good thing is you can have a fresh start every month of the year :)
Oh overthinking and overanalyzing are two tough ones ! I'm sorry I don't have much advice for it and I tend to do just the same ! In a way I think it shows how you can go through all the different possibilities for the same situation, could come in useful but most of the time just fills up the brain with wacky stuff x) I'm sorry to hear that it leads you to thinking that you're a bad person which you absolutely are not ;) And yeah maybe it's your way of trying to improve yourself ? ;)
Thanks for checking-in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Thank you so much Slizzy 🥺I'm reading "Just Mercy" by Bryan Stevenson!!
1) How are you today ? Feel free to share your thoughts !
I am feeling deeply emotional - in a powerful and good way, lots of contemplation...but slightly irritated because i might be feeling too intensely.
2) What does the word 'beginning' remind you of ?
beginning reminds me of a new path, a fresh start, the notion that the past no longer dictates whats going to happen - freedom! also hard work.
3) Are there any old habits that you want to get rid of ?
yes !
judging myself
assuming other people are judging me
letting other people's opinions or percieved opinions of me stop me from doing what i feel is right or what i want to do
limiting how i live my life out of fear
smoking cigs
focusing on the negative - that just makes more negative grow
throwing myself pity party for one
eating crappy food when im upset - or - not eating at all ...its time to nourish my body
allowing friends to use me and take and take but not give
feeling uncpmfy talking about my opinions if they are different from others
being broke and limiting myself
using the past as dictation of how my present and future is and will go
Song recommendation of the day : Uncle Lucious - Keeping the Wolves Away <3
@blissedNblessed
Hey there !
I get you on the deep emotions, I'm glad to hear that it's mostly in a positive way, letting your mind wonder a bit .. As for feeling too intensely, I don't know about you but I've always thought that it's better to feel too much rather than not enough .. ? It makes you human you know ?
Oh I like that idea, that the past no longer dictates the future ! Very wise thought there ;) And yeah hard work is necessary for a new start !
Wow there are quite a lot of things in your list ! Judgment seems to be something important as it comes up several times, I understand that it's hard to be our authentic self, being brave enough to just be us no matter what the others think. Sadly I think we do tend to limit our life because of others. Some items of your list seem be more 'daily life' focused (smoking, eating) and others more mindset focused (focusing on the negative, being uncomfortable with opinions). Though all in all you seem to be quite clear with all this, meaning that you've identified what you wish to change and why you want to change it.
As for the song recommendation, I listened to it while answering. It's very fitting for this exact moment : late at night, tiredness after a emotional day. Quite peaceful and soothing ! Thanks for the suggestion, it went straight on my playlist ;)
@Slizzy564
hey there :D
yes, i agree with ya about rather feel too deep than too shallow ( i pharaphrased, lol). but remind me that while im really deep i them ! feels kinda like a blessing and a curse. but i like that , goig to remind myself that it IS better to be passionate than lifeless!
yes, judgement is so central to what i need to work through and let go of - judgement of myself and judgement that i project onto others and think they are judging me - haha, vicious cycle.
omg - I am SO happy that you liked the song and you added to your playlist!!!! music is so important to me - i feel through the music and with it ..its hard to explain.
so, got one more for you...what im listening to now bc that guitar is crying a beautiful song...
Uncle Lucios - Keep the Wolves Away...
lemme know what you think :)
@blissedNblessed
Feeling deeply is something that is easy to remember when you're feeling positive emotions, when the emotions are more on the negative side, it's not the same x)
It does seem like a vicious circle indeed, do you have any idea of how to break the circle ?
Haha trust me, I love music too ! I often explain it as having a best friend :)
The title seems similar, is it the same song or a different one ? I'll check it out later ! :)
@Slizzy564
hahaha - how to stop the vicious judgment cycle i got going on with myself - i am not sure really...i guess just be mindful of the things i am saying about whats going on - and rewritting those statments that people are judging me into something more reasonable, i guess.
hehe, lots of work
@blissedNblessed
Sure is a lot of work but in the end I think it's worth it don't you ? :)