Self Harm Recovery Daily Check-in : Tuesday, September 8th, 2020
Hey hey beautiful beings :) <3
I hope your week started off good ! For those who had a harder start to this week, I'm sending hugs your way <3
Today I'm in a reflective type of mood. Feels good now and again to look back and see how far we've come, how we've changed, what's different from before ... Just taking a glimpse of our path and picking out the positive in what's happened over the past week, month or even year.
Check-in questions :
1) How's today going for you ? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be ?
3) If you could send a random message in a bottle, what would you like to send ?
Song recommendation of the day : Good life by OneRepublic. I thought it was pretty fitting for today's check in x)
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Today was okay. It was my first day of college, registration, so it was really nerve wracking. I did speak to a girl in my class but I left quickly and I feel bad for not talking to her afterwards but I was just so awkward and agh. I feel bad now and I hope she doesn't think I'm rude or something.
I would tell my past self to not live in fear. She'll get it.
I would probably make up some story and pretend to be some cult leader trapped by pirates lol, something silly to freak out whoever read the message in the bottle.
@memelord500
Hey there !
Oh first day of college ! Good luck for the year to come ! Hope registration went okay, I know I used to hate that part of the year so much paperwork to do ! It's great to hear that you talked to someone even if it didn't go exactly how you wanted. You know sometimes we think we're more awkward than we actually are, also some people don't mind when we are awkward so you never know, myabe you'll get to speak to her again !
Wise words ! Bravery isn't easy but it is surely needed to help us grow.
Oooh you could make up some good conspiracy theories with that ;) It'd be pretty entertaining to read it ;)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
I hope so anyway!! Maybe I will talk to her again, I'm going in next week for induction.
I plan to write a full story now about this pirate cult thing.
@Slizzy564
1) How's today going for you? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3 It was going really well until an hour ago and my mum kept bringing up the difficulties going on atm between us as a family and having a go at me. I ended up crying for the 6th day in the row. I don't cry a lot and I don't know whether it's my contraceptive implant affecting me or whether my depression is going downhill for me and it's honestly probably both. I just want it all to stop. I'm not suicidal but I'm struggling a lot.
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be? Be confident and brave. It goes up and down a lot but you'll find a boyfriend who will support you through one of the most difficult times in your life. Keep going.
@peacefulmember22
Hey hey :)
Oh sweetheart I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your family. The dynamics between family members are truly unique and can sometimes make things so much more complex than they actually are. I hope that you get to talk things out with her at some point. As for crying, I'm sorry to hear that you've been crying so much lately, though I don't know about you but sometimes it's feels good just to get the emotions out you know ? There are many factors that can play into be emotional and yes it could be both of the 2 that you shared. It's seems that you're in a painful place and when we're in pain we obviously want to get rid of the pain as fast as possible. I hope that you manage to find a more peaceful place over the days to come, if need be we're here for you, don't hesitate to reach out <3
Confidence and bravery can lead to many fantastic places :) As for going up and down, a member once mentioned that they viewed recovery like a rollercoaster, you have to go up and down in order to get to the end of the ride, that's just how it goes.
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
1) How's today going for you ? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3
Today's good! I had school and then I took a nice nap :)
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be ?
I would tell my past self to be kind to myself, and to try and be me. I would try and tell myself that if I don't stick up for myself then I'm going to regret it later <3
3) If you could send a random message in a bottle, what would you like to send ?
I would send a positive message! I would like to just send somebody a bottle saying they are doing amazing, and that they are so strong and courageous for coming this far.
@cocoakrispies121
Hi there !
Glad to hear that you're having a good day ! Hope school went okay and you enjoyed that nap :)
Oh trying to be our authentic self is a life long quest I think. Though I do agree with you that sticking up for ourselves is so important if we want to be happy :)
That's a lovely message to give someone. There's never enough kindness in this world, thanks for sharing some :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Awe thank you! You take care as well <3
@Slizzy564
Hallo! Thank you for the check in❤️
1) How's today going for you ? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3
Today was kind of tiring. In the morning I was physically tired and then later in the day like the afternoon I was mentally tired and then around the evening I had so much energy and now I'm currently very anxious about school work and a class maybe being cancelled this week because of natural disasters.
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be ?
Hmm I have two versions to this
The not so cheerful version: You may think that what you're going through is the worst thing ever but through all the good moments you have later in your life it also doesn't getter any better now and your mental health gets even worse.
positive version: look how far you have come! You have made it through all your worst days so far and I'm proud of you for all that you are going through now.
3) If you could send a random message in a bottle, what would you like to send ?
No matter where you are in life you are important and you matter! If nobody has told you this so today or recently I'm telling this to you now! You are amazing and strong and you get get through anything you are getting through now!
I listened to the song and I really like it! ❤️
@Sydney113
Hey there :)
Sounds like your energy levels are a bit random at the moment. I'm sorry to hear that you were feeling low and then had too much energy. I hope that your school stuff works out so that you're less anxious over the next days. If you don't mind me asking, what natural disaster happened ?
Hum I like the fact that you made two versions for this answer, a more realistic one and a more hopeful one, though if you had to pick one, which one would you like to pick ?
Oh those are fantastic words to give to a fellow human being :) Thanks for sharing such positive thoughts !
I'm glad you enjoyed the song :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
There are a lot of fires kind of close but not really to where I am right now.
Yeah my energy levels are always all over the place .-.
I don't think I could choose between one quote so i would probably find a way to make them both into one quote.
@Slizzy564
1) How's today going for you ? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3
So, I just finished the rest of my homeroom activities except for the one that requires a video. I have no idea what to say yet, and I'll answer that for tomorrow. x)
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be ?
I know that you are capable of learning things in life, and I want you to learn the skill of communication. It's extremely important. And don't you dare give your Gameboy advance away!!! It's the only game console you have. :(
(There's a difference playing in a game console than in a phone)
3) If you could send a random message in a bottle, what would you like to send ?
Aliens exist. :)
Thanks for the check-in and take care.
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Hey there :)
Yay for getting the homeroom activities done ! Hopefully you'll manage to get round to that video soon, good luck :)
Oh communication skills can be so useful in everyday life, I wish that I had some more too ! As for your Gamebody advance, who did you give it to ? Such a precious thing to give away ! I remember it was one of the first consoles that my brother and I got, so many memories ! And I do agree, it's not the same playing on a console and playing on a phone ;)
Haha I love that one, made me smile :) And for all we know, maybe they do exist ;)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564, hey.
Thanks for the good luck.
When I was a kid, My mom asked me if she can give my gameboy away to my cousin and I agreed. What happens happened, so I'll try my best to pick the better decision.
Actually, I believe that aliens exists. The galaxy is so massive.
Take care!
@Slizzy564
I self harmed myself I was 18 why well I did it I was bullied and what I did was cut my arm I had plenty of sadness bleeding and fear and anger hope I hear from you soon
self harm is scary uspetting and it's unacceptable
@dhabib
Hi there !
I'm sorry to hear that you were in a bad place when you were 18, bullying is such a difficult thing to deal with and we all have our own ways to getting through hard times such as these. Those are some intense emotions that you're talking about there, though on the more positive side, you seem to be have identified the emotions well. Now the way that you deal with them is another part of recovery. As for self harm being scary and upsetting, I can relate to that. It is after all a topic that stays pretty unknown and not a lot of people truly understand it. You mention it being unacceptable, is that your feeling towards it or do you mean it in a more societal way, as in it is not accepted in our society ?
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564 thank you yes it's uspetting it hurts it's not right it's horrible and of course it hurts in many ways and I'm glad your checking in I'm saying hello to I don't like to be hurt I don't like to be disrespected and I do not like drama and also as a person it's my right to say no always I am traumatized the ones they did me wrong and of course it hurts the toxicity and it's just nasty like a bleeding wound
@Slizzy564 true it is unacceptable bullying is and anything is unacceptable it's violence and abuse and I don't like that
@Slizzy564 my emotions are anger hurt and being afraid and of course I used to be scared extreme about my school lockdowns the lock downs are very scary I screamed it came to my fire alarm it's so loud
@Slizzy564 I'm glad you are understanding my story be in touch hi nice to meet you it's an honor I am as beautiful as a sapphire and emerald
@dhabib
Sounds like you're in a more negative mindset at the moment going off the words you're using in your posts. I'm sorry to hear about these difficult times for you. Though always remember that emotions never last forever and someday this will pass too. Hang in there okay ? And if need be, we're here for you if you want to share your thoughts :) <3
@Slizzy564. It hurts yes it's not that I'm being negative I had something uspetting happen to me it's unacceptable and it's just. Not right thank you for understanding I was wondering if you had any questions about it if you wanted to know anything
I'm hurting I cry and of course my dad always says try not to cry I do it gets heavy I have days I just can't take it anymore and of course it's exhausting it hurts to be the only one with no one to talk to I don't like the act I am hurting emotionally physically and sometimes habe nightmares and anixety and stress has impacted my life it's the worst yes it hard for me to be strong everyday and it gets exhausting no I'm not negative no I am a kind person I just need someone who understands me means it
@dhabib
I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I know your dad says to not cry but if you need to, I don't see the problem in crying. Sadness is an emotion just like any other, if you don't suppress your need to smile, I don't see why you'd try to not cry. Hurting is exhausting, I can relate to that and understand that you feel heavy with all this on your chest. If you need to talk you know that we're all here for you, feel free to share whatever you want. You can talk to us on the forums or if you want a more personal chat you can connect with a listener. Whatever happens, you're not alone okay ? As for being strong everyday, I think that we can't always be strong and that's okay. I have no doubt that you're a kind person and hurting doesn't mean that you're being negative. You're being you and that's fine.
@Slizzy564
1) Today I woke up and didn't want to do anything, flt depressed and without any good mood, rather powerless. Bad at doing my work.
2) My past self, why didn't you start to care about yourself much earlier? So many people advised you to do this. You should accept that you can be liked, taken care of and you are totally worth it!
3) "Please, someone help me to change myself to be a better person. More helpful, more happy."
@windSpirit
Hi there !
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad day. I can relate to that feeling of being powerless when motivation is lacking and depression is in all force and all this having a impact on your personal and professional life. On these days, I find comfort in this 'quote' I found once (and never found again mind you !) that went something like 'whatever happens, you never have to do today again'. Not matter how bad it gets, you won't have to do a repeat of today. Maybe tomorrow won't be much better but at least when you go to bed tonight, today will be behind you.
Your message to your past self hit home with me. Sadly we tend to realize that we need to take care of ourselves too late. I hope that you know that you're worth it now though <3
I'm glad to hear that you want to become a better person and are willing to reach out for help. I wish that you find the support you need !
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
1) I'm alright. A bit fed up with a situation that has no bad guys. My friend is dealing with some serious stuff. I deal with the same stuff and offered my support. Reading her thoughts has been triggering and I'ved asked her to warn me... nothing. I know we can hurt so much that all we see is our own pain so we are less empathetic to others. She says I'm the only one she can turn to. I feel guilt-tripped into listening. My frustration peaked and I lashed out... :/ I don't want to lose her friendship. I need space and feel guilty for taking it. I even feel guilty for talking about it here, like I should just woman up. Yet I will remain resentful, unempathetic, and endanger myself if I don't take it or if nothing changes after.
2) Hm.. "Don't be afraid to make mistakes, they help you grow"
3) Trust your gut
@Lexloveslife
Hi there !
I'm sorry to hear about this situation with your friend. Talking about a topic that it's triggering for you must have been hard for you to deal with. I can understand that a warning would have been appreciated. Sounds like she put you a bit on the spot there, saying that you're the only person she can talk to about this. Feeling guilty sounds pretty legitimate to me, you feel the need to help her out but you know that it'll come as a cost for yourself. As for talking about it on here, no need to feel guilty with us, you're free to share whatever comes to your mind, no matter if it's 'right' or 'wrong'. Putting yourself first isn't a bad thing. I know you feel like you should help her, but if it's hurts you and puts you in a bad place, it's not going to be easy for you to be fully supportive. Consider taking that space that you need, if only for a moment.
I love that : growing through our mistakes. I'd say that we grow the most when we make mistakes.
Oh are you a 'go with my gut feeling' type of person then ? :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Hey! I already answered this yesterday, but it didn't post cos I said something that made it think I was in a state of crisis and needed urgent support... Can the Mod read those posts and override the system?
1) How's today going for you ? Feel free to share anything on your mind <3
Its ok. I had a really nice phone call this morning and I was in a super good mood. Then I got a really annoying email and was mad :) Its funny to be so volatile. I am an adult... I try not to take myself too seriously.
2) If you could send a message to your past self, what would it be?
Hmm... How past? If I could speak to my teenage self, I'd tell myself to work out hard 3 times a week, and recommend reading Michael Augros and Edward Feser. I would be afraid to be more direct and be like "quit doing this, this, this, its hurting you, etc. Start doing this and that because its good and true..." because I don't think I would have listened to myself...
3) If you could send a random message in a bottle, what would you like to send ?
Just to whoever? It wouldn't meet forum guidelines I don't think, so I'll just think of it to myself.
@1morday
Hey there !
I'm going to be honest, I don't really know how that works out .. Sorry to hear that you've already replied and had to write it out again. Maybe @rebecca947 can help you out ?
Sounds like a bit of a rollercoaster day then ! Ups and downs ! Though you seem to be dealing with this pretty well. I'm glad you don't take yourself too seriously, it's nice now and again to let go :)
Any past self, can be recent or older, you choose :) Sounds like you needed structure in that time of your life going off the recommendations that you're giving yourself. I don't know about you, but sometimes I wish I could go back and at least stop doing all those things that hurt too much. But it's always easier to pick those things out later on in life. As for not listening, we all know that teenegers don't like to listen much ;)
Just to whoever exactly. It's fine if you want to keep it to yourself :) There's no obligation to answer these questions of mine ;)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@1morday
Hey there! As forum mentors, we have the ability to either edit your post or delete it altogether. If at all possible, edit is the way to go. I didn't see your post before, so I can't tell you for sure why it got deleted. There are forum rules and guidelines however, which can be found >here< (The blue writing is clickable). I hope this helps!
@rebecca947
Dear Rebecca, its seems 7cups (by robot) picked up on a certain combination of words which were red flags for an emergency. It therefore did not post what I wrote, did not enable me to edit it, nor you to view it. In fact I wasn't in a state of crisis, although I can see on reflection which words flagged the automatic response. I don't know if there is anythign to be done about this.
Thanks :)
Ive been so close to relapse and it gives me a headache and makes me grumpy trying to stop myself and I'm really struggling!! I really wanted to be with this man and he said that he wanted to try and then last night he said he's not ready, maybe a year and he's been off lately and it just has really hurt to know I'm not wanted and I feel like I have nothing going for me at the moment
@itsmesara
Hi there :)
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Sounds like you put a lot of hope into that relationship and are disappointed that it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. I can relate to feeling unwanted but sweetheart, even if he doesn't want to build a relationship with you, there'll be someone out there who will. Just because one person doesn't want us, it doesn't mean that the whole world doesn't want us either. As for struggling with relapse, I understant that fighting against the urge it hard (and it gives me a headache too), but I see it as you showing how strong you can be. Hang in there, emotions never last forever, this too will pass. Sending hugs your way <3
Thanks for checking in, take care <3