Anniversary

@Desiderata0413

Hey there , firstly congratulations. I know you said you didn't feel like to celebrate But you have to take what you deserve ^^  

t's hard to let ourselves be happy or sometimes even believe we deserve to be. There are no words to express how ones heart feels empty and hurting inspite of all the milestones they painstakingly earned . I am not going to tell you how much unfair life is being here because it's pointless. But I want to tell you what I felt when I read this post . 

I felt like you are a north star . You might be in the darkest imaginable places emotionally while you are reading this , but I want , no , I need you to know - what you accomplished is like the light in the end of a tunnel for many of us. I can only imagine how hurt you might have been ithose five years ago , that you had been so hard on yourself. Going through the pain you did and still being here among us , my dear friend, it doesn't make you a failure . You are one of the bravest person who decided to pick up everything you had left in your battered soul and start again and come so far . Five years , 1900 days , 44000 hours....you have come a long way. But you know what's more amazing than that ? It's how you have fought, not just the world around you , but the  the demons within  you clawing at your heart , to come through every minute during this five years. You are far from being a failure. making a poor decisions , is that whats weighting you down ? Idk , but if it is , a gentle reminder - none of us around you have always made the best decision all throughout their life. We all have our embarrassingly large stash of bad choices. Does it make any of us a loser ? No , it just makes us human. We are allowed . 

I understand how terrifying it might be to talk about your fears and self doubt to your therapist. Being there and speaking your mind..it must feel like putting oneself in a vulnerable position. (Did I say you are brave ? ) I am sure you can go there eventually at your own pace.