Figured it out
I think I've figured out what my trigger is. It's my mother. She’s constantly criticizing me, twisting everything I say, and turning it against me. I’ll say something totally “depressing”—like today I said, “Why should I do that when you’re going to do it anyway…”—because she does everything for me, and then she lashes out at me, saying I’m good for nothing. She’s always complaining that she does everything, but when I say I’ll do something and don’t do it within 5 seconds, she gets *** off, yells at me, and goes to do it herself.
Why cant i see the replies 😭🙏
@elka1ska
Hi, what do you want to hear, friend?
I dont even know anymore, nothing helps at this point..
@elka1ska
Do you have close relationship with your mother?
Do you afraid of her?
As far as i know self-harming has deep roots, not just issues with anybody.
I wanted to be close with her, but every time I came for help, she just told me that I am too sensitive, like sorry, but when someone tells me "ky$" i am in fact going to cry. I am not afraid of her, because I know she wouldnt do something physical to me, but I am a little bit scared when im on my phone and i hear her footsteps. I just think that Im always in trouble.
@elka1ska
"but I am a little bit scared when im on my phone and i hear her footsteps" - that what i meant above, i didn't mean anything phisical.
Do you consider her being also too sensetive and just wearing a 'tough woman" mask? Or do you think she is really strong?
What about you? Are you sensetiv? I mean how you consider youself?
I dont think I am acually. And I kinda agree that she victimizes (sorry if I spelled that wrong) herself. But I could help her more, I would love to, but I feel like she doesnt wanna let me help her.
And I dont know what I think of her. I dont think that shes tough, she just seems like it, but I know that she cries too, and she complies about me to everyone in our family. My aunts, her mom, my dad, everyone. I feel like shes trying to get everyone to hate me, even if I did nothing wrong.
I do somerhing. Its wrong. I do nothing and it wrong too. It seems like everything I do is wrong for her. Im just not good enough for her.
@elka1ska
"She’s always complaining that she does everything" - possibly, she is tend to vicimize herself.