I have a high social anxiety and depresiff symptoms

Hi everyone, I hope someone return to me. All things started with school issues with friend like kidding on me,death threats and self isolation. O have not found any friend at my last year. Normaly I had a close friends before to move new city. Than I had argued with one of my best friends, I have maden huge mistake and finalley our friendship were end. I felt so lonely at my collage first year and I had a family issues for my hypervigilans and agitasions. Finally I decaed to end of my life however it was not easy. I had a several suicide attempts and Sometimes I had a suicidal thoughts. I had a started to job end of my first year than I couldn't focus on job and they fired me but I could find another. I embrassed and my anxiety has became higher and higher every new day. I shared to decion on end of my job and my parents yelled me and I had a huge anxiety attack. After the job experience I couldn't feel safe anymore I became terriable situation and everyday I thought suicide again and again. I talked on my suicidal thought with my pyschiatrys and him couldn't help. Most terryfaing thing for me he suggested euthanasia,if I have a another chance. I changed my doctor but it were not helpfull,she tucked me pysciatric hospital and worst part is my roommate think I will diy or he shared his hospital experiance. I saw ECT procec with my eye on the patient or I have staied with some old criminals. Finally my anxiety had been turning panix attac however my doctor thougt(I am not sure) it was pyschotix symptoms. And supriese I had been taken false treatmen. I had learn this were false after exit the hospital and changed my doctire. I have lost my appatiet on life. Than I have tried suicide again. Now I don't have a suicidal thougts but I am depres and I can't feel the safe.