I need some advice
Hi I am Julie I'm 13 and for the last year or so I have been having suicidal thoughts and for the last two months I have been self harming. My mom doesn't know about any of this or my therapist or my psychiatrist they know only about my anxiety and panic attacks which I am being treated for. I am also pretty sure I have been depressed for like over a year now. I don't know how to tell them because stuff like this is really hard for me. I don't know how to tell my therapist and psychiatrist even though they aren't phased by this stuff but my mom gosh she is carrying so much on her shoulders three kids and a recent divorce I don't want her to be sad about that. Also treating this stuff is a thing that you have to want I don't want to be treated for it because I am already being treated for my anxiety and panic attacks which are more important because I can't really go to school bc of them. I need to be going to school my parents get mad when I can't go to school and then I cut myself. I dream about disappearing from earth, everyone slowly forgetting me.
If you have any advice please tell me
@Julieo0o0
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now.
It's nice that you're thinking about your mother and how you're aware of her situation. I want you to know that your mother is responsible for you and she deserves the opportunity to listen to your problems (no matter how dark they are) and to support you. That's her role as a mother.
Your therapist is there to provide extra support where mom might not be able to.
Self-harm is often about numbing the pain we experience. It's a way of managing big, unwanted emotions when nothing else is working. Talking with your therapist about this is important.
Therapists are trained to work on all of these things and self-harm coupled with suicidal ideation is something they need to be aware because it presents an immediate risk to your livelihood. Anxiety and depression aren't going to go away if you're actively seeking out ways to hurt yourself. It'll just make things worse for you.
I really hope you talk to your therapist even if you don't want to tell your mother.
🐠
Hi Julie.
I understand this can be really hard to talk about. You’ve already made a great start by talking about it here! You are being brave.
You’re right, your therapist and psychiatrist won’t be phased by this. I get it still hard to open up. When we’re worried about talking about something, it usually doesn’t turn out as bad as we expect. It might help to write down what you want to say. You can take your time writing a plan, and if reading it out loud is still is too difficult, you could even give them the note if it’s easier than speaking. They shouldn’t mind this, as they are trying to help you and will appreciate you communicating in any way you are able to.
I understand not wanting to burden your mother. It sounds like you care about her a lot. That’s true, she will be sad to hear you’ve been feeling worse than she thought. However, you should consider she could end up finding out later. It might be more upsetting for her to know you were struggling and she wasn’t able to offer comfort or help. Also it might be a relief for you, not having to keep secrets from her anymore.
Although things feel hopeless now, it can get better!
Talking about it is always the best option as hard as it is. When I finally reached out for help it made everything so much easier. It's beautiful that you're worried about stressing your mom out even more but you're still so young. You need to tell someone and someone you trust. This is never something someone your age should have to go through. The first time I cut myself I was 11 years old and I suffered through that for years, alone. It never got better until I allowed myself to have a support system. You have to let people in to be able to move forward. People will miss you if you disappear. No matter how bleak it seems there is SOMEONE who loves you more than you could ever understand and they would miss you dearly.
@Julieo0o0
I am a fresh adult, and I still struggle with sh and si. Still, I think even if your mom has a lot on her plate think of how she would feel if you left even though a lot of things are happing a moms love is like no other it wont matter what is on her plate your her baby girl you matter and leaving this earth would be a life time weight on your moms shoulders I lost a very good friend to suicide in 2019 I was only 12 I still think of her till this day I cry every time her anniversary comes up. She was just a friend, and for sure, a mother's love is 10 times stronger than a friend's.
just think about it
