I need some advice.

@yellowSpruce9215 hi sweetie 💖 welcome to 7cups💖 18 is a difficult age, your turning into a adult. It's ok to be a bit lost, even most 50 year olds still don't know what they're doing in life yet. So try not to be to hard on yourself 💖 try not to worry about what others think, you'll figure it all out as you go along💖 self harm is a coping mechanism, it may not be the best one but it's not the worst either. I'm glad you've found 7 cups, this is your safe place 💖 hopefully opening up and talking about your issues will help you get through all this💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗everything is gonna be ok 💖

Hey. First of, glad that you reached out and asked for advice. This shows that you still want to get better. And i belive you can.

You said you feel down for no real reason. Well i know exactly how it feels. Youre demotivated, sad or even sometimes mad and tired but you cant tell why. I have learned that many things over time like constant stress or emotional overload - even on daily basis - sum up and result in this low energy for weeks and months.

I myself was not a big fan or journaling but i tried it. And it helped.

Try to ask yourself "what does my mind or my body need now."

Is it silence? Is it family? Is some of your favorite activities or even just sleep and rest. Then do it. Do whatever you need to feel better now.

Start simple. You dont need to do thousand things a day to feel better.

And im so sorry to hear that you feel like the people around you disappointed you. Sometimes they just dont understand and dont help the right way. Its not your fault and its not their fault. I know many people would say 'start socializing or doing more stuff with them to get closer and it will get better' but honestly? We all know thats wount really work. I learned that these things get better with time. Yep thats it. Time. Also dont focus on them. Focus on yourself. You dont need to solve those issues because its more important to look after yourself. Once you get better im sure your relationships will improve on their own too. Dont loose hope.

And about the self-harm. I know it very well as a cutter. Youre very aware that its wrong and that you shouldnt do it but in that moment you never listen to these thoughts and just do it. And since you do it on your thighs you feel more free because your mom wount see it anyway and you cant sto.

I dont know you at all but i know that you dont deserve it.

Try to put the things away you cut yourself with. I know its hard and ppl mostly keep sth still in reach 'just in case' but dont do it.

In the moments where you feel like cutting try to use something not so sharp so you can 'scratch' your thighs and create the same pressure without causing it to cut.

You could also just do the og coping method: the rubber band. Might not work as well but its still worth a shot. It causes it burn or hurt a bit and also creates temporary visual raised and red lines.

I dont know much about you or your mental health path so far but i wanna let you know that there are ups and downs in life. Never let these downs break you. I belive in you and i am so sure youll recover.

Hope any of my words and advices help. I myself am 16 and am still struggling too. But im slowly finding my path back up...so could you.

@yellowSpruce9215 I get it. It's hard to cope well when we are feeling so bad. Please try to stop if you can. It started for me with my sides, then my thighs. Eventually I got permanent scars covering my whole body. It can escalate quickly if you're not careful. Stay safe <3

@yellowSpruce9215  i've been in that position too, heck still am. You should as hard as it will feel try to get rid of the things you use. Alternatives that work is using a pencil because it will scrape and burn but it will fade overnight and doesnt cause serious damage at all, or holding ice straight from a freezer. 

As much as i want to tell you to just stop I know it doesn't work that way. Try to find other ways that will cause you less physical harm.