Let’s hear what you’re here for
@Michaelbike19
Here for people to listen
@Michaelbike19
trigger warning
we here for others and also to get support we been self harming since we was very young it was away to cope with abuse. we had stopped as a 12yr old but when we started having flashback we started again then well when we started losing our kids it got worst when we lost parental rights to our 3 kids but was still within abusive marriage so our self harm got very bad no one seemed to get it and we cycled in and out of mental wards some even said we was doing it for attantion but our DX at that time was wrong too we reached out online got help but offline the mental health system made things worst not better we been fearful of what we could do. so few years ago we stopped self harming but at times slip up too we believe once you self harm you are a self harmer for life as when things get bad it come to mind sometime one acts on it other times find another way to cope we learning more healthy was to cope have been for long time now
so we here for support and to give support too
You wanna connect off here for better communications and possible solutions and ideas?
@Michaelbike19
truth unsure we been talking to our friend who a therapist we known long time online. due to RA from a very young age going untreated due to her abuse she can no longer work. but she helps us online a lot. we also have kinda a therapist offline at community mental health but they go through therapist but to most use it as a stepping stone to higher paying jobs. so we had so many offline due to that too. about the time we get to point of trusting them they leave we get new one.
so we really have trust issues with mental health workers we been abused even told we do it for attention but they not get they was pushing us onto our abusers saying they was our best support we end up getting abused more due to the mental health system that why mostly like peer support as seem other who been abused listen more and well not down what one been through
yes we be angry about all that happened even within the mental health system that to help not harm so we have big fears even with seeing a therapist offline we be careful how we talk word things sadly we had a very bad psych at one time send up to the state mental hospital but we did not belong there so in 3 weeks they let us go most who go there kelp for months even years
we not even sure what emotions other then anger really be there and kinda scared to see but thank you for being here and listening
@Michaelbike19
want to say sorry for post before this one to you. we dealing with going off on ones who only want to help. this has came up before we know it rooted in things that happened. we at times will push others away even ones we known for a time. rejected before they can rejected us. so think that was part of why we reacted as we did in other post to you. so just wanted to say sorry about that. we not use to even having emotions most our life we was numb emotionally. had to be as had no support within the war zone we was in emotionally. so numbing, self harm. drinking booze all became how we coped. we been going healing work since around 1999. but with the move 8yrs ago we seeing a new layer of stuff and well emotions now not numb. we think due to we feel of daily abuse at last.
Wanna connect?
@Michaelbike19
depression help self harm and my well being
Wanna connect?
