Not exactly self harm I’m not sure where to ask this
I’ve never physically hurt myself on purpose, but sometimes when I’m hating myself too much I imagine hurting myself even though I know I would be too scared to actually do that. Recently the things I’ve been imagining have become more detailed it’s confusing. I’ve heard of passive suicidal ideation but never the self harm equivalent of that, and I’ve never heard of anyone experiencing the same thing I am. Idk why I do this and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know if I’d be able to tell anyone in real life about this.
hey @hhhhhh04, thank you for reaching out and sharing. You're not alone here, and many people experience thoughts and mental images that feel intrusive, confusing and frightening, especially during moments of intense self-criticism.
I can definitely relate to what you said, and sometimes our minds create images or scenarios when emotions feel too big or painful to hold. It makes sense that the detail of these thoughts feel upsetting and its easy to feel isolated when you haven't heard of anyone else speak about this.
You mentioned not knowing why you do this or how to stop, and I can hear how scary that feels. You also said you are not sure you could tell anyone in real life, which I think a lot of us can relate to. Opening up about something so personal can feel overwhelming especially when you're worried about how others may react.
You are more than welcome to continue discussing here in the forums if that feels safe, or if you ever want someone to listen privately, you can reach out to a 1:1 listener. You deserve support and to feel heard.
If you'd like to share more about what happens during these moments, and how these make you feel than we're here to listen.
Sending you virtual hugs 💜
Emma