Over 320 days clean..
I thought it would get better after a while but the issue is it hasnt, I wanna relapse so bad and have no one to go to. I feel like if I wasn’t with my boyfriend I would feel no guilt relapsing but since I’m with him I feel tons of guilt even thinking about it and I don’t know what to do
@rainiday
That is awesome! you are so close to a full year! whenever I had a streak going, in anything, I always realized how hard it would be to start over at day one and all my work and effort to get to such a great point was worth more than the feeling to give up.
Yea i realize that but the urge is over powering any other will to keep my clean streak going, relapsing just sounds like the best option right now even though I know it’s not. I honestly just wanna keep doing it and not tell anyone
@rainiday
I am sorry you're still struggling but I do want to commend you for nearly a year sober. that is so impressive.
hang in there <3
Reaching almost a year is amazing, give yourself some credit. I'm sorry it's still so hard. Maybe try some affirmations or prayer. Everyday I thank God that I don't HAVE TO self-harm that day. I would also advise you to seek outside help. My therapist helped me start using coping skills and replacement behaviors. It's really hard to give up something if nothing takes it's place. Remind yourself of how far you have come and how badly you want to keep your clean streak going. You can persevere! You are an inspiration to people on here with less time...like me! You should be very proud of yourself for sticking with it.