Why? Is it that bad?

Hi! I’ve started sh week ago. Honestly, i think it’s joke to me. I know it’s not a topic to joke about and i know people say it’s bad. But i can’g see it as bad thing when i’m doing it to myself. And i feel like i’m just doing it because i can. Because why not? I just want to do it for some unknown reason(attention probably idk). I only am afraid fo do it and know it’s bad cause other tell so and others see it as concern. Why would i do it to myself when i actually have no reason to do it?

And i feel like, bacause i don’t do it as coping or anything bad reason, i can’t say i’m struggling with sh. I even feel like lying when i say i’m doing sh. I don’t do much, i don’t do it bad. What is it? Why?