hi:)

hey guys, i wasn’t sure where to post this as i’m kind a newbie (first post i think) but also made this account several years ago when i was like 17. (feeling old lol.) but I think the main reason im here is because im struggling with SH again and i dont really feel like i can talk about it irl.

I’ve never had the best mental health. The sh has been on and off since i was 12. i was doing a lot better for a few years but i relapsed a couple years back and its been really hard to stop again. I experience these really bad episodes of depression where everything just goes dark and life becomes really hard to deal with. and they are definitely getting worse. i spend months and months of my life just trying to look like im functioning because i have to and inevitably i end up slipping back into SH and other behaviours.

i’m not very good at asking for help and i find self harm particularly really embarrassing to admit to, especially as an adult, so that’s something i need to work on.

anyway sorry for the essay. i guess im just looking for somewhere to feel less alone. I really want to get over this for good and manage the depression a lot better than i am, but i know that will require a lot more courage than i have right now