still here

@tryinglittleaudrey

My heart really goes out to you🥺. To be holding onto so much pain, yet still finding a way to be here and try, speaks to a strength within you that even you might not see right now. That must be so incredibly hard. I'm wondering, what has helped you get through even the smallest moment lately?

*sending a soft hug if ok*

@tryinglittleaudrey

I feel the same say, i even researched on ways to die that can be less painful and no chances of recovery but I'm here trying to find a reason to live, but when i go back to my life. I will try again finding a better way to die. I really don't understand the meaning of my creation and cry my heart out in the shower so no-one can see and realise I'm broken..

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way 🥺 it's something that I've felt a lot. Your words reflect exactly how I felt for a long time.

For so long, I just couldn't see the point of anything, life included. It all just felt so meaningless and full of pain and emptiness. I spent so much time trying to figure out the point of it all, trying to figure out why life was worth living when it felt so miserable to stay alive. There were many times where I got really close to ending it, yet something was always holding me back, and I had no idea what or why. I could never figure out why I was never able to take the full step to ending it when life was so miserable. It felt like whatever was holding me back was torturing me and making me endure a life full of constant pain. Feeling like that was the worst thing I have ever experienced. It truly felt like torture.

So I can relate far too much, and I'm truly sorry you're going through that, because I seriously cannot express with words how hard and painful it is.

With all of that said, I'm doing better now. I'm not doing amazing by any means, but I haven't felt like that in about three months.

I wish I could tell you how I got out and how I'm doing better. I wish I could give you a solution or help in some way. But to be honest, I truly don't even know how or why I'm feeling better. I have a million different guesses, but they're just that, guesses.

But maybe this will give you some hope that it can get better. Because even when I thought and assumed that it would never get better for me, it somehow did.

Just keep doing your best 💕 you don't deserve the pain you're going through.

It’s so amazing to hear you are still trying, as I hear you that you’re hurting. You are so incredibly strong for every breathe you allow yourself to take and I hope you have millions more. I have experienced what you’re feeling and one thing I will say is that whenever I look back on my past self, I hold so much more grace for how hard I fought, and though you know yourself better than anyone, I hope that you are able to give some of that to yourself now in these moments, too. There is so much goodness ahead of you that you may not be able to see, but it is waiting for you.

It’s so amazing to hear you are still trying, as I hear you that you’re hurting. You are so incredibly strong for every breathe you allow yourself to take and I hope you have millions more. I have experienced what you’re feeling and one thing I will say is that whenever I look back on my past self, I hold so much more grace for how hard I fought, and though you know yourself better than anyone, I hope that you are able to give some of that to yourself now in these moments, too. There is so much goodness ahead of you that you may not be able to see, but it is waiting for you.