Improving your self-esteem!
Hey everyone! It's Atticus :) I hope everyone has had a great week so far and is doing well. This week has been really interesting for me and I've been learning how to cope with some extreme ups and downs lately. Another thing I've been trying to deal with is my own self-esteem. Being in low lows sometimes can really drag our self-esteem through the dirt and I know others might start thinking about self-harm thoughts when stuck in that rut of a self-esteem slump. Here are 6 ways to change your thoughts and improve self-esteem!

1) Focus on what you want to let into your life. We often hear that we need to "let go", but sometimes it's hard to know what we need to let go and how exactly to let go of things. This especially applies to traumatizing things that we just hold onto. Instead of focusing on what you need to let go of, try focusing on what you need more of in your life! Whether it's just more sleep or more people positive people around you, you get to control what you let in.
2) Avoiding all or nothing thinking. Catch the dichotomies in your thinking patterns! These thought patterns can end up starting in phrases like "I'll never.." or "Every time..." or "They always...". Change your thoughts by looking for an alternative grey area.
3) Talk to yourself differently. When we're going through really difficult times and are having self-harm thoughts, it's easy to talk to ourselves in really harsh language and blame ourselves for a ton of things that are out of our control. Harsh language used against ourselves won't make us feel any better, so it's better to talk to ourselves gently to help ourselves grow! Ask yourself "How would my best friend or parent support me and help me in this situation?" and go from there.
4) Give yourself credit for small things and celebrate your wins. There are many times during the self-harm recovery journey where we can often feel hopeless because of all the "defeats" in life that we're being hit with. These defeats are natural and very valid, but it's important to combat the sadness of those defeats with celebrating the wins we receive, even the small ones. Even if you are not done with a project, take a moment to focus on what you achieved so far.
5) Actively practice gratitude for the things around you. Hopelessness and numbness towards the world around us is easy to fall into when we're in a stage of the self-harm recovery journey. Actively looking for things to be grateful of and expressing gratitude towards those you love is scientifically proven to be more beneficial and helps us feel better about ourselves as well. Take a minute to think of everything in this moment that you're really thankful for or grateful for.
6) Improve the moment. This really just means actively trying to do something that interrupts the negative thoughts that you may be having about self-harm. This can help stop our self-esteem from crumbling and can take place by practicing some healthy coping mechanisms or self-care.
Discussion questions:
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
I hope this post was helpful and thank you everyone for reading and I hope you all have a great day!
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @aar10 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @aestheticmaddie @akagmai97 @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AnastasiaSmith @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @aviori @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @becca111111 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BiMonk @Bingo222 @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @BrokenDreamsPalace @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @bugggy @Bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @carefulStrings6517 @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @CarverTea @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @conscientiousOwl7693 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Dababy9322 @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ecargrace @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FigureskatingEquestrian @FindingPeaceWithin1 @Flornhope @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @gentleParadise1427 @Gin @glowingKiwi @Godsbae @goldenJoy721 @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @happydays447 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @Hydrangea03 @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @itidc @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @ivoryPenguin3999 @Iwannaliveanddream @iwishuwell @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @kindDay278 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @LauraB1996 @Leanna @leaveearly2716 @LetMeHeatItOut2 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @mads00742 @magicalBraveheart537 @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Mint123 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @modestVase1408 @Moosewithducks @msishihab @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @optimisticNectarine3923 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @positiveTurtles @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietHemlock7880 @quietman4875 @quietTalker1488 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @RiverHudson1 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @sewmachine @Sewmachine @sgraceroe @ShadowTag @shymelody @Shyone7834 @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @Slizzy564 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @straightuplance @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @suling1986 @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @TheAtticusFinch @thebermuda @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yolo @youandmesohappily @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
>Click here to be added or removed from the taglist<
@TheAtticusFinch
Hello, Atticus!
Thank you for this amazing post!
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
Hmm, I would say my self-esteem is about a 5. High self-esteem hasn't been my friend lately. What about you?
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
Today to improve my self-esteem I could talk to myself differently and give myself credit for the small things and celebrate wins!
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
One thing I want to accomplish by the end of this week is my interview!
@Proud14
Hello!! I'm so sorry for the late reply. Thanks for the compliment. A 5 is good enough and I hope it can go up over time. I have a strong 6 or 7 for my self-esteem but it usually fluctuates with what happens around me and what happens to me. I did use to have really low self-esteem though and I would say that self-esteem can change over time. I love the ways that you want to improve your self-esteem and I totally support you in doing so! I'm wishing you the best of luck with your interview. :) You're amazing and thanks for responding today!
@TheAtticusFinch
Hey! Don't be sorry for the last reply, it is okay. Thank you so much! Haha, the interview never happened but thank you. You are also amazing and thank you for replying today.
@TheAtticusFinch
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
My self esteem is probably a 5 sometimes I think I'm pretty other times I don't. Proably a 5 I'm pretty average.
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
Stop overthinking
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
A drawing
@itidc
Hello!! I'm so sorry for the very late response. 5 is indeed average and I hope it can go up over time! Overthinking can definitely become an obstacle for self-esteem and I have that problem myself. Overthinking usually causes us to question ourselves and our esteem, which isn't good, but it also shows that you care. :) I hope you can find a way to overcome overthinking or turn it into something positive! I'm wishing you the best of luck with your drawing! :)
@TheAtticusFinch
Thank you so much, I used to think of myself as a 2 or 3 so I've really improved
Thank you so much for your kind words and I hope you can overcome overthinking as well its no good at all.
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
maybe 5 - just somewhere in the middle
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
Today is done for me. Its middle of night.
But I can think about all the good things I have archived.
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
Wash my clothes I need for holidays.
@BrokenDreamsPalace
Hello Dream! I'm so sorry for the late reply. I'm seeing a lot of 5s for self-esteem and that's pretty average but I hope it can go up over time! I'm glad that you can try to focus on the positives in the things that you've achieved. Those wins, no matter how big or small they are, are worth celebrating. I hope you got to wash your clothes and have a great day! 
@TheAtticusFinch
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
I would say 4, high self esteem hasn't really shown up in a while.
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
Stop everthinking everything and anything.
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
Ignoring my urges, I'm taking little steps this week as I've had a rough week.
@Oxymoron6demon
Hello hello oxy!! I'm so sorry for the late reply and I'm sorry to hear that high self-esteem hasn't really shown up for you in a while, I hope it does rise up soon. I agree, overthinking is rough and I hope you find ways to journal your overthinking and coping with it well over time. As someone who also struggles with overthinking, I definitely can say that it's incredibly natural and valid but we juts have to find better ways to deal with it. Having urges is incredibly hard and I hope you're still managing to cope with it without relapsing, but please know that relapsing is completely natural and I hope you're able to take those little steps and that this week is (hopefully) better. :) Take care!
@Oxymoron6demon
Hello hello oxy!! I'm so sorry for the late reply and I'm sorry to hear that high self-esteem hasn't really shown up for you in a while, I hope it does rise up soon. I agree, overthinking is rough and I hope you find ways to journal your overthinking and coping with it well over time. As someone who also struggles with overthinking, I definitely can say that it's incredibly natural and valid but we juts have to find better ways to deal with it. Having urges is incredibly hard and I hope you're still managing to cope with it without relapsing, but please know that relapsing is completely natural and I hope you're able to take those little steps and that this week is (hopefully) better. :) Take care!
My extremely low self-esteem is just me being honest with myself and understanding what a garbage subhuman failure I really am. Anything else would just be lying to myself.
@tluper6491
Hey there bud *hugs* I'm really sorry that you have low self-esteem. I agree that sometimes our low self-esteem can stem from us being honest with ourselves, but there's a huge difference between being honest with ourselves and being harsh on ourselves and it sounds to me like you're being a bit harsh with yourself here :( I have a lot of friends and I have myself who struggle with having insanely low self-esteem sometimes and we've all felt like having high self-esteem would be just lying to ourselves, but remember there are still positive truths about yourself to hold onto. <3 I hope this week was better and take care.
@TheAtticusFinch
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
My self-esteem is really low so I would say a 1.
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
Today I can talk to myself differently because I know that's something I really struggle with.
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
One thing I can accomplish this week is finishing the rest of my work for the week.
Thank you for the post! it was really nice to read!
@Sydney113
Hi hi Sydney!!! I'm so sorry to hear that your self-esteem is very low right now.. I hope it gets better soon. I hope you're able to accomplish what you needed to the rest of the week and talk to yourself differently. Talking to ourselves differently is crucial and I'm glad you know about that. We often are way too harsh for ourselves and I think you might have fallen in that a bit, which isn't good and you deserve kindness from others and yourself too. I hope this week was better and thank you for responding. :) Take care.
1) How high or low is your self-esteem? With 1 being having low self-esteem and 10 being high self-esteem, what would you rate yourself and why?
Depends on the day. Right now it's about a 4-5 but on a good day it's around a 7.
2) What can you do today to improve your self-esteem?
I know I need to talk to myself better and be more careful about what I let in,.
3) What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the end of this week?
I'd like to finish going through my stuff and give it away
Thank you for the read. It was very good and much needed
@Goldcherry2113
Hey there cherry! Thank you for responding. :) 4-5 is okay but I hope you have more good days and more 7 days soon. :) Talking to yourself better is so important and yes, that's correct that we can all do better with choosing what we do to let in and to let go. I hope you're able to reflect on that this week! Hope you get to sort through your things and donate them, that's a great idea and I should honestly do that too! And aw, I'm glad you liked the post. Hope you have a wonderful week.