Why Should I Stop Self Harming If It Helps? [POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING]

Self Harm recovery is very very difficult. What, for me at least, is one of the most difficult things is the following question: Do I even want to recover? I mean, it helps right? I understand you, I have been there too. And I am here with you today to guide you through my personal answer to the question: Why should I stop self harming if it helps?

Note: I am not a proffessional and have no proffesional knowledge. This is just my answer I give people who are struggling with this question and I decided to write a forum thread about it.
Note 2: This is a topic that might be triggering, if you feel triggered at any point during this thread you might want to consider talking to a listener. You can find a listener here.

I first want to start of by saying hi, I am glad you came to this thread *offers a cookie 🍪*. I am GlowingKiwi :). I know, from personal experience, self harm can be kind off helpful. It might be a way to punish ourselves, feel alive, relieve stress or numb some emotions. Self harm is a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one. Self harm almost always has an underlaying cause. Finding this underlaying cause might be very difficult. Maybe we already know our emotions that cause our self harming behaviour, for example: self hatred, numbness, stress, fear, distressing thoughts, emotions and/or feelings or anything else. Now I want you to ask yourself, why am I experiencing this emotion? When did it start? Try to find the underlying cause. (Bullying, abuse, rape, depression etc.) We use self harm as a way to cope with that. But, if it helps to cope us, why should we stop?? Well, what self harm does is it helps us for a little. Maybe for a minute, maybe a few minutes, maybe just a few seconds. It is like a cycle.

We start feeling distressing emotions, feelings and/or thoughts, it gets overwhelming, we self harm, we feel temporary relieve, and some time later the distressing emotions, feelings and/or thoughts will be there again. Self Harm may help cope, but does it really solve the problem? The answer is easy, no, it doesn't. What this means is that as long as we do not solve the problem or find healthier coping skills it is very difficult for us to recover. But then once again, why should we stop if maybe we are okay with being hurt and self harming?

I want you to imagine yourself at the day you graduate, are you still self harming then? Hiding your scars and tools? How about when you get married? When you'll have kids? When you are a grandpa/grandma? Do you really want to still hide your tools then? Get scared when somebody asks 'show me your arms'? Do you really still want to be self harming then?

If your answer is yes to that then that is okay. You don't HAVE to stop self harming, I am not telling you you should. That is your decision to make. It is your decision to make if you want to try to recover. And if you don't want that that is okay too for me.
If your answer is no, then there is your reason. Your reason to stop self harming. Our self harm won't stop unless we learn the right coping skills that work for us or learn to control or solve the underlaying problem (such as depression, trauma, self hatred, etc.). Is it gonna be easy? No, it is not and I am also not going to pretend it will be. It will be a fight, but I know, that with the right strength, you can do this.💕 You can beat self harm. 💕I believe in you. 💕You are not alone in this and I am proud of you. *hugs*

Lots of love 💞💖💕,
Kiwiii