Activities/distractions to ride out the urge to self harm like the recovery ninjas we are! Think of this as your go to BEFORE sh!

The Happy Box

A simple,fun and easy strategy to use as a way to not harm yourself when you get an urge to do so.

- Get a box with a lid and decorate it any way you want....get creative - have fun with this ...it is a great distraction.

- Put anything in the Happy Box that makes you feel happy and puts a smile on your face.Examples would be photos, names of your friends, concert tickets, movie stubs, names of songs, jewelry, a rose, a pressed leaf from a tree. You get the idea.

-Open your Happy Box and pull out everything in it whenever you feel that you want to harm yourself. Do this mindfully.

- Take out one thing at a time, look at it, touch it, sit with it as you reflect on its' meaning and remember why you chose to put it in the Happy Box.

Let yourself take in the good memories you feel and the closeness you feel to the other people who were involved in making each item special to you!

This is a great way to remember the good times and that depression lies saying it will last forever - and looking IN the box , we see it is a lie - happiness did and does exist:)

It is also a great way to just feel better without needing to self harm.

You are so close to done just a few more [ i ] Here is your next clue how long have you been free?

This is a variarion on the happy box, called, The Saftey Box for self harm.

How Do you create a self harm saftey box?

All you need to start is a box. It can be an old shoebox, a gift box from your local giftware store or even a discarded cereal box. As long as it has four walls, a base and a lid, youre good to go!

Once youve got your box, the next step is to personalise it. For this you can cover it with contact, decorate it with funky wrapping paper or even paint it. Let your creativity soar…this is your box after all!

The third step is to fill the box with items that will help you regain control during periods of emotional distress. Think things that make you happy. Think things that are tactile. Think things that trigger your senses. Think things that cannot do you harm. This is your box, so whatever you decide to put in it will be personal to you, but here are a few ideas to get you started:

Arts and crafts: colouring pencils, finger paint, plasticine, paper, water colours, brushes.

Brainteasers and puzzles: a small jigsaw puzzle, word-searches, Sudoku.

Fun and games: small toys, cuddly toys, travel board games, a pack of cards.

Odds and ends: books, DVDs, luxurious bath products, essential oils, meaningful photos, candy.

Once youve filled your box with all manner of exciting and smile-inducing items, simply store the box in a special, easy-to-remember place so that when things get rough youll know exactly where to find it!

Once your box has been completed and placed in special place, all you need to do is remember to use it should you ever become triggered and/or feel the urge to self-harm. When you come to use your box, make sure that you are in a private and safe place within your house (perhaps on your bed) and that the box and its contents are the only thing you have to hand…then just enjoy yourself! Go to town with colouring in, make cute monsters out of your play-dough or draw epic artworks upon the canvas of your body with a chunky red pen.

Remember, creating a self-harm safety box isnt just about distracting you from the demons of self-harm, its about celebrating the awesomeness (and uniqueness) of you. Have fun with it, play with it, enjoy it and be good to yourself.

For more information: https://myjourneywithdepression.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/how-to-create-a-self-harm-safety-box/

146 Things To Do Besides Self Harm

( Okay - with this you will never be bored):

1. Exercise...it helps to get out emotions and the energy in the emotions

2. Put on fake tattoos.

3. Draw on yourself with washable red marker-then take a shower and wash away your pain.

4. Scribble on sheets of paper.

5. Write poetry ( great way to express that which you feel you can not)

6. Cuddle with a stuffed toy.

7. Be with other people.

8. Watch a favorite TV show.

9. Post on 7 cups sub forumsand or try answering other people's posts.

10, Think about how "I DON'T WANT SCARS FOR SUMMER!!"

11. Paint your nails a new color.

12. Go out to see a movie.

13. Eating something you can't resist.

14. Do your school work or that work you have been putting off.

15. Write a letter to someone but never send it....or one to yourself AND send it!

16. Go into support chats to talk.

17. Call a friend and ask them to come hang out.

18. Play a musical instrument.

19. Sing...and don't care about how you sound!

20. Look up at the sky, and find the moon. Be mindful of it.

21. Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm.

22. Buy a punching bag (with gloves. Name it. Then, have a visit with Bob when you need to.

23. Snap a rubber band (hair band) on your wrist.

24. Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut.

25. Write with markers words on your skin instead of self harm...justget it out of you.

26. Let yourself cry, even if it is hard.

27. Sleep, only if you are tired.

28. Do the exact opposite of what you really want to do....like, try pappering yourself when you want to hurt yourself.

29. Play with a pet.

30. Smile to at least 5 people.

31. Re-organize and lable your linen closet.

32. Go out and perform one act of kindness.

33. Have a pillow fight with a wall.

34. Knit a scarf.

35. Read a good book....later in this forum thread there will be a list of good self harm books!

36. Dress up very glamorous, with makeup to match.

37. Color your hair.

38. Listen to music (nontriggering)

39. Watch a candle burn, but no playing with flames or hot wax. Blow it out when you leave the room.

40. Find someone else you can help. Do volunteer work. Take your mind off of You.

41. Meditate. Track your breathing.

42. Call up an old friend and catch up.

43. Work on a website or start a new one.

44. Have a vivid imagry or meditation.

45. Go somewhere very public.

46. Bake cookies or another favorite food you like.

47. Alphabetize your CD's.

48. Chew gum.

49. Buy a henna tattoo kit.

50. Paint or draw.

51. Rip paper into really small pieces.

52. Give someone a Hug.

53. Write a letters or emails.

54. Talk to yourself...it's okay, we all need to hear kind loving words - even if from ourselves.

55. Hug a pillow.

56. Hyper-focus on something like a rock.

57. Draw or color.

58. Scream as loud as you want.

59. Dance ( no one is looking!)

60. Make hot chocolate.

61. Pop bubble wrap.

62. Play with play dough.

63. Count to 100.

64. Build a pillow fort.

65. Blow up a balloon and pop it.

66. Hug yourself.

67. Write yourself an "I love myself because" letter and keep it. Read it when you feel down.

68. Read things in a different language.

69. Go for a nice long drive, walk, or jog.

70. Complete something you have been putting off.

71. Drink a cup of herbal tea.

72. Fold paper and invent a new origomi shape.

73. Write your memoirs.

74. Build something.

75. Learn a new language .

76. Play a sport.

77. Take up a new hobby you always dreamed of.

78. Organize bills, receipts, etc.

79. Cook a meal.

80. Go out for ice cream.

81. Buy a stuffed animal.

82. Look at pretty things-like flowers or art work.

83. Create something.

84. Pray, meditatte or read your scriptures if religious.

85. Throw socks against the wall.

86. Make a list of thinks you are thankful for in your life.

87. Go to a friend's house and open up.

88. Get lost on YouTube!

89. Watch an old comedy movie.

90. Call your therapist or make an appointment with one.

91. Talk to someone close to you that you trust.

92. Throw a temper tantrum for 5 minutes, then get over it.

93. Ride a bicycle.

94. Start a collection of things that intrest you.

95, Start a garden or water your house plants.

96. Re-arrange a room.

97. Feed the ducks, birds, or squirrels.

98. Draw on the walls-or paint with watercolors if you don't want permanence.

99. Play with face paint.

100. Play jacks or pick up sticks.

101. Create art.

102. Memorize a song and sing it. Then, reflect on it's message...positive only.

103. Put on boots and stomp.

104. Stretch.

105. Find a butterfly and catch it ( don't touch it's wings)

106. Watch fish.

107. Come up with baby names or pet names even if you aren't expecting.

108. Go to a public place and people watch.

109. Make a playlist of your favorite songs.

110. Name all of your stuffed animals.

111. Go shopping...retail therapy :p

112. Get into your PJ's and just veg.

113. Buy cheap teddy bears and take your anger out on them

114. Throw everything on the ground except glass or anything that could hurt you.

115. Go to a loud concert (Make sure it doen't trigger you)

116. Think about your ideal life. What do you have to do to get there? Write mini goals on how to get there.

117. Plan your someday wedding day or upcoming prom.

118. Hunt for stuff on Amazon.

119. Alphabetize your books.

120. Hunt for your perfect home in the paper or online.

121. Take up Tai Chi, yoga, meditation or martial arts.

122. Try to make as many words as possible out of your full name.

123. Count ceiling tiles or lights.

124. Go to the grocery store and buy yourself some flowers.

125. Search for ridiculous things on the web.

126. Google youself.

127. Color co-oridinate your wardrobe.

128. Do a home tan on yourself.

129. Take a hot bath and "be" in the moment.

130. Sort all you photographs.

131. Give yourself a pedicure and manicure.

132. Color or scribble over pretty women in magazines.

133. Plan a dinner party with menus and guest list, then carry it out.

134. Go through all your old stuff, and donate to Good Will.

135. Take a walk in the woods and breathe the fresh air.

136. Start a mood journal and write in it every day. Do patterns surface? Track your triggers.

137. Buy yourself some toys and play like you are 5 years old again!

138. Try to figure out what your real needs are for self harming and meet them instead of self harming to meet them.

139. Take up an arobic activity.

140. Read a magazine or newspaper.

141. Sew something.

142. Buy a stuffed animal.

143. Take your own dog, or a friend's dog for a walk.

144. Call 1-800-DONT CUT

145. Call 1-800-THERAPIST

146. Read through this list again and start from the beginning.

Yes - even MORE activitiews to do instead of self harming...but according to needs and mood!

Angry, frustrated, restless:

Try something physical and something not directed at a living thing:

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.

Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.

Hit a punching bag.

Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.

Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.

Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.

Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.

Break sticks.

Draw something

Crank up the music and dance.

Clean your room (or your whole house).

Go for a walk/jog/run.

Stomp around in heavy shoes.

Play handball or tennis.

Pop bubble wrap

Scribble on photos of people in magazines.

Viciously stab an orange.

Pop balloons

Beat up a stuffed bear

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Scream very loudly

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when youre done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

Splatter paint.

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black.

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up.

Sad, soft, melancholy, depressed, unhappy:

Do something slow and soothing, like taking a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles, curling up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow. Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted. Light sweet-smelling incense. Listen to soothing music. Smooth nice body lotion into the parts or yourself you want to hurt. Call a friend and just talk about things that you like. Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend.

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming

Draw or paint

Look at the sky

Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming

Call a friend and ask for company

Buy a cuddly toy

Give someone a hug with a smile

Write about how you feel and let your emotions out (youll calm down)

Put a face mask on

Watch a favorite TV show or movie

Eat something ridiculously sweet

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head

Treat yourself to some chocolate

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do

Look at things that are special to you

Compliment someone else

Make sculptures

Watch fish

Youtube funny videos!

Let yourself cry

Play with a pet

Have or give a massage

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind

If youre religious, read the bible or pray

Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)

Go chat in the chat room

Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion

Accept a gift from a friend

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read

Write words in the sand for them to be washed away

Numb, unreal, craving sensation/pain, dissociating:

Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:

Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.

Rub liniment under your nose.

Slap a tabletop hard.

Snap your wrist with a rubber band.

Take a cold bath.

Stomp your feet on the ground.

Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Clap your hands until it stings

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmers glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with a member of your family

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Note: Some people report that being online while dissociating increases their sense of unreality; be cautious about logging on in a dissociative state until you know how it affects you.

Wanting focus:

Do a task (a computer game like tetris or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc) that is exacting and requires focus and concentration.

Eat a raisin mindfully. Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that youre beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.

Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it.

Pick a subject and research it on the web.

( TW ) Wanting to see blood, scars, or pick scabs:

Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.

Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that youve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.

Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut.

Make wounds with makeup, like lipstick.

Cut your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but its hard to get off)

Use red food coloring on your skin.

Arm wrestle with a member of your family.

Take a cold bath.

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them

Make a collage of how you feel

Negotiate with yourself

Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way

Write your feelings in a diary

Free write (Write down whatever youre thinking at that moment, even if it doesnt make sense)

Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to

Call a hotline

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you dont have to send it if you decide not to)

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say Ill self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Color your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something youve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe

Play with toys, such as a slinky

Go to the park and play on the swings

Call up an old friend

Go people watching

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pocket.

Do school work

Play a musical instrument

Watch TV or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of paper

Dress up or try on old clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop

Write out lyrics to your favorite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days youve been self harm free using pretty colored paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse the forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek with your siblings

Go outside and watch the clouds roll by

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before its due

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book.

Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.

Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.

Take a small step towards a goal you have.

Re-organize your room

Name all of your soft toys

Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet

Have a lush warm bubble bath with candles!

Do some knitting

Do some house hold chores

Think about how you dont want scars

Treat yourself nicely

Remember that you dont have to hurt yourself just because youre thinking about self harm

Create a safe place to go

Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say I want to hurt myself rather than I want to cut

Repeat to yourself I dont deserve to be hurt even if you dont believe it

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: its up to you what you do

Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming

Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time

Avoid temptation

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut

Be with other people

Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm

Make a list of your positive character traits

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you

Put a band-aid on the area where youd like to self harm

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice choices versus dilemmas

Lose the should-could-have to words. Try… What if

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you dont want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns

The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldnt want you to harm yourself.

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.

Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When its full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

RECOMMENDED READING: ( On the topic of self harm or ways to ride out the urge)

Skin Game-A Cutter's Memoir by Caroline Kettelwell

Bodies Under Siege- by Dr. Armando Favazza, MD

The Plight of Chronic Self-Mutilators-by Dr. Armando Favazza, MD and Karen Conteri

CUT-by Patricia McCormick

A Bright Red Scream-by Marilee Strong

Women Who Hurt Themselves, A Book of Hope and Understanding-by Dusty Miller

The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence-by Tracy Alderman, PhD

Cutting The Pain Away-by Ann Holmes and Carol Nadelson

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, (DBT) -by Dr. Marsha Linehan PhD

...feel free to add your fav books about self harm here!<3

The Butterfly Project: Versions 1 AND 2!

Version 1:

The Butterfly Project has been created for self-harmers who feel they are ready to stop and need the motivation or support to do so.

The idea is simple. You simply draw a butterfly on the place(s) of self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means that the butterfly lived and has flown away, giving you a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm while the butterfly is still visible; you have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on.

Another idea is to write the names of your friends and family, so that when you feel the need to self injure, you are reminded that you are important and loved by your friends and family. Writing song lyrics or quotes can also be useful.

Version 2:

Go to a craft store and buy supplies to make beads for bracelets and/or necklaces. Then, buy butterfly charms (or any charm form/symbol you like) to eventually use as a charm to be added to the bracelet/necklace.

This is how it works: First, make a braclet or necklace out of the beads. For every week that you have not hurt yourself, you have saved the life of the butterfly. For every butterfly you save, you should add a butterfly charm to the beaded braclet/necklace. That way, you can tell how many weeks you have stopped hurting yourself by how many butterflies that are on your beaded bracelet. {Each Butterfly=1 week of not cutting.}

You will always be reminded of your successes every time you glance at your wrist and see all the butterflies you have saved!

15 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF SELF HARMING - TOTALLY DIFFERENT :
GETTING DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY....

Tried and tested coping skills that actually work

The following is a guest post by Lauren Coe, M.S. Ed.

Self-harm is undoubtedly prevalent in our society and especially among young people. It's difficult to know just how many people engage in self-harm but some studies have found that as many as 20% of high school students and 40% of college students have self-harmed (). I began self-harming in high school and for years I did not know how to replace the behavior with something else. This makes me wonder how many other young people are out there thinking the same thing.

This is a difficult post for me to write because the concept of using something other than self-harm to cope seemed foreign to me until recently. I have worked with multiple therapists and psychiatrists, been in different support groups, went through intensive outpatient programs and did Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), all of which attempted to teach me healthier forms of coping. The problem was that all of those coping skills didn't help in the moments when I wanted to cut. I think this has a lot to do with a few different things: a) I wasn't necessarily ready to stop cutting myself and b) some of these skills were not addressing the core reasons that I was cutting.

So my first piece of advice: it's extremely important that you determine the reasons you hurt yourself before you can begin to replace the behavior with something else. I know from experience that it DOES NOT WORK to simply replace self-harm without understanding what fuels the urges for the behavior. In fact, in their book Freedom from Self-Harm, clinicians Kim L. Gratz and Alexander L. Chapman suggest that taking self-harm away without something healthy to replace it with is a recipe for failure.

So before you take on this list below, explore your urges to self-harm and where they come from. Try to identify certain feelings, places, or situations that trigger the urge. Gratz and Chapman encourage thinking about why you want to harm yourself and what you'd get out of it. Thinking about these things will better prepare you to explore alternatives to self-harm.

1. Change your surroundings

Self-harm thrives on repetitive patterns. For example, you might have a specific thing you use to self-harm, a time of day you often do it, and place where you feel comfortable self-harming (like your house or your room). If you're in that place and you're experiencing an urge, get out. Go outside, go downstairs, upstairs, or leave the place entirely. Chances are you won't end up hurting yourself if you've removed yourself from that space.

2. Cry

We can all benefit from a good cry. We are lucky because our bodies are equipped with this natural form of dealing with tough feelings. Release the emotions that urge you to self-harm by crying. There is nothing weak or shameful about crying so find someplace quiet and safe and let it all out.

3. Wash the dishes

I have found that this tedious household chore can be actually very meditative and soothing. Buy a dish soap with a scent that you really love, get a sponge and some good dish gloves, and listen to a podcast while you wash. Really focus on what you're doing. Let your mind get lost in the srubbing movements, watch the suds foam up and dissipate, and take your time.

4. Listen to a playlist

Create a playlist to fit every feeling: depressed, angry, nostalgic, in love, excited, etc. When you're feeling an urge to self-harm, choose a playlist and listen to the entire thing on repeat. Let yourself cry to the sad songs and dance to the upbeat ones. Maybe play songs from your middle school years that remind you of simpler times. Let the music help you release your emotions.

5. Clean your room

You don't need to embark on cleaning your entire room but sometimes reorganizing your dresser drawers can feel really good. Decide to conquer at least one thing in your room whether it's changing the sheets on your bed or cleaning out your closet. Maybe even make a bag of clothes you want to give away. Cleaning will help keep your mind focused and you'll also be accomplishing something productive.

6. Wash your arms (or another part of your body)

A friend recently shared this with me when I texted her while experiencing a strong urge to cut myself. She has a favorite body wash that she uses to wash her forearms when she experiences an urge. This helps with the sensory feelings in that area of her body and she also likes the scent of the body wash. I took her advice one night when I felt an urge to cut. While in the shower, I scrubbed my forearms with a body wash that I like and I closed my eyes and cried. At first I was scrubbing very hard and eventually I found myself gently massaging my arms as the soap suds washed off. The whole experience was actually very soothing and healing for me

7. Write about the urges

You can do whatever you want to with this one. I have found all kinds of writing helpful when dealing with the urge to self-harm from creative writing to structured prompts. In their book, Gratz and Chapman suggest tracking the urges to self-harm throughout the day and then describing the urges. This has actually been very helpful in identifying when my urges are the strongest and how they feel. It's good to be as descriptive as possible. Sometimes the urge to self-harm can feel like a volcano erupting in my entire body and other times it's like an annoying itch that won't go away. Either way, it's better to put these feelings into words rather than let them fester inside.

8. Hold something in your hand

Find something small that will fit in the palm of your hand. I have a small rock that my therapist gave me that she found on the beach. It's a light color, it's very smooth, and it isn't heavy so I carry it around in my purse with me. For me, an urge to cut is usually associated with not feeling grounded. Cutting myself typically helps me to feel grounded again. However, holding the rock in my hand or something else (play dough, a stress ball, fidget cube) can help create the sense of feeling grounded and which helps to move me away from the urge. Try to keep something small with you at all times, just in case.

9. Move around

If you've been sitting down for too long, get up and walk around. Maybe do a yoga stretch or bend over and let your arms fall to the floor. Take a walk (or a run) and get your body moving. You can even just shake your hands and arms to simulate getting the urge out of your body. it will be harder to hurt yourself if you're moving around.

10. Hug something you love

When I was in high school and I felt an urge to cut, I would find my family's cat and bring him into my bedroom with me. I would sit on my bed with him, pet him, hold him, and kiss him. Being able to hug him and feel his presence next to me was always very comforting. Hugs symbolize holding and holding symbolizes caring. If you can hug someone you love, your pet, or even a stuffed animal, the act of hugging is healing and can help offset the urge.

11. Scream and yell

Scream into your pillow. scream in your backyard. Yell at the TV, the car, or maybe imagine yelling at someone you don't like. Obviously always be aware of your surroundings before you start screaming out all of your aggression. Put a voice to those feelings rather than a scar.

12. Name your feelings

This might seem simple but I actually find it somewhat difficult. Try to be as specific as possible with yourself when you try to name your feelings. My therapist has helped me a lot with this. You might be feeling anxious but is there something else underneath the anxiety? For me it's usually anger or fear of abandonment. Once I'm able to name how I'm feeling, my urge to self-harm loses some of its control over me.

13. Call or text a trusted person

Even if there is just one person in your life that you can trust to talk to about your self-harm, reach out to them. Ask them if they would be willing to talk or go out somewhere. Identify who this person (or people) will be ahead of time and have a back-up plan if they don't answer. I reach out to my therapist when I have an urge to cut and even if she doesn't write me back immediately, I feel a sense of relief by reaching out to her. Just knowing that she will receive my text makes me feel less alone.

14. Wait 20 minutes

My therapist recently told me about this one. She said that when I'm feeling an urge to cut, if I can wait 20 minutes the urge will lessen and eventually pass. I can distract myself by making something to eat, taking a shower, or watching some TV. If you can make it through those 20 minutes, you'll be okay.

15. Let go of control

A friend and I recently discussed how control relates to our self-harm. We both have a long history of cutting ourselves and we realized that so much of it came from a desire to want to have control. For me, since I wasn't able to control the actions of those around me or even control my own intense feelings, at least I was able to control how and when I cut myself. I have been trying to get better at being okay with not having control. Always being in control is too much power and it's unrealistic. It can actually be a relief to let go of the control and just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. You'll get through it, I promise

Resisting The Urge To Cut Yourself

There are 3 things to focus on to help you quit cutting: Talk it out, Wake up to your actual feeling and seek peace.

Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the Cutting monster – wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you dont act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, youre making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Stop feeding the cutting monster.

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to let the urge to cut pass is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when youre feeling the deep cravings to cut, and get your mind off of it. Its impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this..

Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about whats comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.

Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).

Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.

Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.

Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.

Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.

Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.

Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.

Create art, or some kind of creative hobby.

Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it when you feel the urge.

Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.

Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Snapping the rubber bands against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Maybe mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I dont cut…and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible, and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.

Stop thinking about yourself so much, and focus on other cutters who need your help.

The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: Im proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self destructive behavior. Everyday is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what youd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction. If I dont quit cutting, then a lot of the things I want arent going to work out the way I dream they will.

When I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, ‘Mommy what are those booboos on your arms? That really made me think, ‘WOW, what would I tell my children? And it made me cry for a really long time

Its a challenge everyday, but we are fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have other options besides cutting.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you.

For more help on how to stop self-harming, check out TheHopeLines eBook: Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

https://www.thehopeline.com/resisting-the-urge-to-cut

Getting into real depth-

If self harm helps - why/how stop?

How does cutting and self-harm help?

Its important to acknowledge that self-harm helps you—otherwise you wouldnt do it. Some of the ways cutting and self-harming can help include:

Expressing feelings you cant put into words or releasing the pain and tension you feel inside

Helping you feel in control, relieving guilt, or punishing yourself

Distracting you from overwhelming emotions or difficult life circumstances

Making you feel alive, or simply feel something, instead of feeling numb

In your own words

It expresses emotional pain or feelings that Im unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what Im feeling on the inside!

Its a way to have control over my body because I cant control anything else in my life.

I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain its better than feeling nothing.

I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain.

Once you better understand why you self-harm, you can learn ways to stop self-harming, and find resources that can support you through this struggle.

If self-harm helps, why stop?

Although self-harm and cutting can give you temporary relief, it comes at a cost. In the long term, it causes far more problems than it solves.

The relief is short lived, and is quickly followed by other feelings like shame and guilt. Meanwhile, it keeps you from learning more effective strategies for feeling better.

Keeping the secret of self-harm is difficult and lonely. And it can have a detrimental effect on your relationships with friends and family members.

You can hurt yourself badly, even if you dont mean to. Its easy to misjudge the depth of a cut or end up with an infected wound.

Youre at risk for bigger problems down the line. If you dont learn other ways to deal with emotional pain, you increase your risk of major depression, drug and alcohol addiction, and suicide.

Self-harm can become addictive. It may start off as an impulse or something you do to feel more in control, but soon it feels like the cutting or self-harming is controlling you. It often turns into a compulsive behavior that seems impossible to stop.

The bottom line: self-harm and cutting dont help you with the issues that made you want to hurt yourself in the first place. There are many other ways that the underlying issues that drive your self-harm can be managed or overcome.

Help for cutting and self-harm tip 1: Confide in someone

If youre ready to get help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is to confide in another person. It can be scary to talk about the very thing you have worked so hard to hide, but it can also be a huge relief to finally let go of your secret and share what youre going through.

Deciding whom you can trust with such personal information can be difficult. Choose someone who isnt going to gossip or try to take control of your recovery. Ask yourself who in your life makes you feel accepted and supported. It could be a friend, teacher, religious leader, counselor, or relative. But you dont necessarily have to choose someone you are close to.

Eventually, youll want to open up to your inner circle of friends and family members, but sometimes its easier to start by talking to an adult who you respect—such as a teacher, religious leader, or counselor—who has a little more distance from the situation and wont find it as difficult to be objective.

Tips for talking about self-harm

Focus on your feelings. Instead of sharing detailed accounts of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help the person youre confiding in better understand where youre coming from. It also helps to let the person know why youre telling them. Do you want help or advice from them? Do you simply want another person to know so you can let go of the secret?

Communicate in whatever way you feel most comfortable. If youre too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email or letter (although its important to eventually follow-up with a face-to-face conversation). Dont feel pressured into sharing things youre not ready to talk about. You dont have to show the person your injuries or answer any questions you dont feel comfortable answering.

Give the person time to process what you tell them. As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell—especially if its a close friend or family member. Sometimes, you may not like the way the person reacts. Try to remember that reactions such as shock, anger, and fear come out of concern for you. It may help to print out this article for the people you choose to tell. The better they understand self-harm, the better able theyll be to support you.

Talking about self-harm can be very stressful and bring up a lot of emotions. Dont be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. Its uncomfortable to confront and change long-standing habits. But once you get past these initial challenges, youll start to feel better.

Need help for self-harm?

If youre not sure where to turn, call the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at (800) 366-8288 for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm. For helplines in other countries, see Resources and References below.

In the middle of a crisis?

If youre feeling suicidal and need help right now, read Suicide Help or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at (800) 273-8255. For a suicide helpline outside the U.S., visit Befrienders Worldwide.

Help for cutting and self-harm tip 2: Figure out why you cut or self-harm

Understanding why you cut or self-harm is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to get those needs met—which in turn can reduce your desire to hurt yourself.

Identify your self-harm triggers

Remember, self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Sadness? Anger? Shame? Loneliness? Guilt? Emptiness?

Once you learn to recognize the feelings that trigger your need to self-injure, you can start developing healthier alternatives.

Get in touch with your feelings

If youre having a hard time pinpointing the feelings that trigger your urge to cut, you may need to Befrienders Worldwide work on your emotional awareness. Emotional awareness means knowing what you are feeling and why. Its the ability to identify and express what you are feeling from moment to moment and to understand the connection between your feelings and your actions. Feelings are important pieces of information that our bodies give to us, but they do not have to result in actions like cutting or other self-harming.

The idea of paying attention to your feelings—rather than numbing them or releasing them through self-harm—may sound frightening to you. You may be afraid that youll get overwhelmed or be stuck with the pain. But the truth is that emotions quickly come and go if you let them. If you dont try to fight, judge, or beat yourself up over the feeling, youll find that it soon fades, replaced by another emotion. Its only when you obsess over the feeling that it persists.

Help for cutting and self-harm tip 3: Find new coping techniques

Self-harm is your way of dealing with feelings and difficult situations. So if youre going to stop, you need to have alternative ways of coping in place so you can respond differently when you start to feel like cutting or hurting yourself.

If you self-harm to express pain and intense emotions

Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint

Start a journal in which to express your feelings

Compose a poem or song to say what you feel

Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up

Listen to music that expresses what youre feeling

To calm and soothe yourself

Take a bath or hot shower

Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat

Wrap yourself in a warm blanket

Massage your neck, hands, and feet

Listen to calming music

Because you feel disconnected and numb

Call a friend (you dont have to talk about self-harm)

Take a cold shower

Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg

Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel

Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board

To release tension or vent anger

Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag

Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow

Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay

Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)

Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm