Work, focus and self harm
I am very fortunate to have a job I can do from home and I'm grateful for that. But working from home has proved to be really bad for my anxiety and depression. I can barely focus at work and I struggle daily to not self harm because of all the stress. The workload has increased and it's hard to do things at a distance, but we're all doing our best, but I feel like I'm such a failure because I know that I'm one of the lucky ones in all this but I still feel so bad.
I really, really just want to take a day and breathe away from work, but the mere though of taking a day off is so anxiety-inducing and just fills me with guilt. I'm telling myself that I just have to try harder. Is it worth it to suffer through it and harm yourself to keep up appearances? I don't even know anymore. Thanks for reading and I hope you are having a better day
@adventurousStrawberries4171
Heya!! First of all, I'm proud of you for sharing your story here ^^ secondly, I am so sorry to hear your work has been bad for your depression and anxiety. Work can give us a lot of stress and that is understandable. Especially in these challenging times with COVID-19.
In these difficult times I think it is very important to take good care of our selves (self-care). What usually relaxes you? What makes you feel happy? What helps you reduce your stress (and is not self harm!!)? For me personally I like to take walks, listen to soft pop songs, draw, take a long shower, exercise a little and make sure I eat 3 good healthy meals and a good night sleep :). Maybe self care could help you too with reducing the stress your work gives you. And remember, treat yourself the same way you treat your loved ones. 
You are not a failure because you feel bad and you are still a 'lucky one'. Everybody is different and we cannot compare our problems. That is impossible and you should not try it too. You are allowed to feel bad, to cry, to not be able to do all the work anymore and to just take a day (or a few) off. You do not have to feel guilty about that at all!! We are not robots and also need some time for ourselves without any work 🌸
You are loved.
Tons of love and hugs,
Kiwiiii
@glowingKiwi
Thank you so much for the kind words. I think the hardest part is that I've been trying to take care of myself and to do all the things you're "supposed" to do for many years, like eating and training and sleeping etc. But when that still doesn't help I think it's hard to feel like it can ever become better. Everyone says that as long as you practice self care you will feel better, but it's not always true and that sucks.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to respond to your kindness with complaints. It sis make me feel better to read your response and I will try to do better and hope that it will help someday.
I hope you're having a good day and that you feel at peace!
