Little C*t

I feel like I don't belong in this group because all c*ts I have made have been labelled "superficial" by my therapist. A few of them left scars, but they weren't too deep. I couldn't make them big or deep because of the job I'm in. I had to keep them hidden and functional.

Yes I still harmed myself and yes I still have the urge to do it again sometimes. But to do it worse. I really like feeling the blade dig into my skin and feeling the blood slide over my skin. I know its wrong, but I was just warming up. I want to continue.

I won't, I don't think, because I'm in a relationship and I don't want to ruin that. But this addiction, I've never gone this long without it. I miss it. How do I substitute for it?