Relapse
I messed up and relapsed. I’m ok, but I feel so stupid and ashamed. I feel so bad that I did it again. I want to get better, but I just got so down that I couldn’t think of anything else. I feel absolutely awful. I get really triggered at religious holidays and I let my trauma get the best of me. I’m so upset with myself. I’m so sad. I wish I didn’t do it.
@kindLime9951 Relapse can be very frustrating, I understand how you feel. It also sounds like you have been managing up until this especially triggering event, which is a big deal! It is like moving heavy objects, if there is an extra heavy one sometimes you can't pick it up but that doesn't throw all of the other ones you've moved back onto the ground. I know how upsetting relapse can be, but I am so glad you've chosen to be open about it and come to talk about it here
@snowylovegood thank you for your kind words. It’s really hard to not feel like a failure. I know that this one mistake doesn’t wipe away all the hard work I’ve done. Unfortunately though, this relapse has made my depression so much worse. I just feel so worthless and terrible about myself.