Things I wish I knew before starting self harm

I wish I would have known many things before I started self harming, one thing I really wish I knew was that self harm isn't something you can just quit. It's like drugs or alcohol, you say "Its fine I wont get addicted, if it gets out of hand I’ll just quit" but your wrong. By the time its out of hand it's already become the only thing that helps you cope with the pain of your existence. And you try to rationalize what your doing to yourself anyway you can, "Its not like I'm doing it to die" "I take care of the cuts so they don't get infected" "I’ll stop when I'm ready" "Its how I cope" it starts like any other addiction, first you might scratch your self with your nails, or snap a rubber band on your wrist and that helps for a while. For a while that's all you need, but then you get too used to it and its not enough anymore. After that you'll find something like a pencil to scratch yourself, then after that it will most likely be scissors. That's when you have no choice except getting better at hiding your self harm, wearing long sleeves or refusing to wear shorts, changing into your P.E. Clothes in a bathroom stall, taking bandages from a first aid kit in the middle of the night, avoiding any situation where people could see your cuts. Suddenly your hiding an entire part of your life from your friends and family, and you feel bad about it, but they would never understand. This is the only thing that helps you, cutting yourself and seeing the blood is the only thing that keeps you from insanity, you need this, you have to have this. Soon the scissors become too bulky and inconvenient to carry, that’s when you graduate to razor blades. Around this time is when you get really good at caring for your wounds and hiding your supplies for self harm. At this point you know its an addiction, and you hate it because it took over your life, stole your freedom, because it manipulated and cheated you. You hate it but you still need it, so you still do it, you continue to cut. And eventually you runout of space, the cuts slowly but surely spread from your arm to your other arm, from there to your thighs, from your thighs to your stomach, until your covered with cuts dreading the day you accidentally go to far and need stitches. It just gets worse and worse, its an addiction and it ruins your self esteem, it messes with your head, it forms this secret part of your life that you never even wanted. If your reading this and considering self harm, please, please don’t start. Find some other way to cope, talk to someone, paint, write, meditate, anything but self harm. Don’t make the same mistake I did, self harm isn’t beautiful, its not something to be taken lightly, its awful and its scary. I know that if your mind is made up I cant do anything, but I hope this changed at least a little part of your mind. Please, think about the consequences before you pick up what your going to use to harm yourself.