YAY! They're healing but the saying goodbye is...sad??
I relapsed after 6 years of being free from SH. I was 5 weeks free and then I failed again about 2 weeks ago so the count has restarted. I had been isolating and trying to deal with everything on my own... I finally accepted that being alone with it was making it worse. Anyway, I've opened up about it to a few close friends and my best friend has been checking in pretty often and encouraging me to share the stuff that stresses me out. I've been feeling alot better lately...my scars are healing and I feel a weird emptiness about it that makes me want to continue...I know that's not a smart or kind decision. Anyone else feel weirdly sad as the scars fade? And how do you deal with it?
@ambitiousVase8607
Hey there, congratulations for stopping - I know you had a relapse, but it's amazing that you've stopped again, I hope you're really proud of yourself. It's also amazing that you've reached out to friends who are able to support you and check in with you. You said it so well - it's all about making the smartest and kindest decision for yourself. I totally hear you about the sadness that comes with doing better - it's having that outlet and that tangible sign that you were struggling, it's not weird at all 💜 I think it's all about sharing the stresses (like you are) and choosing healthier coping mechanisms - I swear by running and swimming for getting me out of my head and into my body, crafting is amazing too - anything that keeps me busy.
@Lyra yes! You are completely right and I'm learning that for each time I resist the urge, it's gets easier the next. I keep reminding myself that there was a period of time where I didn't feel the need to do this. There was a time when I had the resilience and capacity to handle stressors positively and I'm rebuilding that! And that's okay. Lately I've been getting into embroidery/cross stich and picking one friend to have a phone call with while doing it and walking /running with my dog when the weather is warm enough. I've almost been getting into yoga and it's been helping with awareness and teaching me how to sit with someone uncomfortable without immediately reacting. So I'm getting better!
