should I tell my therapist?

@AnimalLover2004 If your life is at risk she would have to save you, obviously.

If it's not as bad as that she should respect you as a person, enough to keep what you tell her completely confidential. You could check with her first, by asking her something like, "What kind of things would make you tell my secrets to other people?"

If you'd ever like to chat to me about the situation, just click on my profile picture and message me.

Charlie

Hi @AnimalLover2004

Well done for seeking out a therapist. Honestly, what would be the point of not tell her? she's there to support you and she'll do all she can to do that but you have to take her into your confidence and I really hope you can do that and together you'll find a way to recover {{{hugs}}}

Lucy2

@AnimalLover2004

Hey there ! I can understand how scared it makes you to tell your therapist. It sure is incredibly scary when we dont know how people will react to what we tell them… On the other side though, being able to talk about it with your therapist could bring some needed and helpful support in this time, plus I love how down-to-earth youre being with that part of you wanting to tell your therapist so that things dont get worse.

Im not aware of how the system works in other countries, but I know that here, doctors and therapist arent supposed to tell other people about whats said in a session, even to parents, unless they think the health of their patient is in danger. Now I dont know the extent of your self-harm but if you tell her, its very likely that your therapist will make sure youre not in any danger. So if/when you tell her, Im guessing it could be helpful to make sure to also reassure her about that and the fact you want this to stay between you and her, if thats what you want.

Also I dont know if that tip can help you, but if youre feeling too scared to tell her but also want to tell her and tell her more about it, writing a letter to give her to read at the start of a session could be way to tell her more easily and clearly, even if its still a very hard thing to do.

Whats most important is that you listen to yourself and what you need for your recovery <3

Im not sure how helpful this will be as Im struggling to find my words lol, but I really hope you can find some kind of compromise so as to have her support in your own terms! If theres more youre asking yourself or more youd like to let out about this situation, dont hesitate, were here for you!

@AnimalLover2004

Hey there:) First, great job on seeking help! It's an incredibly brave and important step, I'm glad you took it.

I completely understand how daunting and uncertain this next decision can be. I was caught in the same dilemma of to tell/not to tell previously for a similar topic, the others have answered your question well and I completely agree with what they said, so I just wanted to pop in and offer a little support.

It will feel scary, especially if it's been a secret you kept to very limited people in fear of the consequences of others knowing. What helped me push through was reminding myself that my therapist is there to help me, and it will be helpful for her to know the extent of the challenges I am going through, especially if it concerns safety and well-being. Because she can only address them if she knows they exist. And it's true, it may not have resulted in as simple a journey as if I didn't disclose, but I'm glad I did, because it allowed us to address everything I was going through in its entirety, and gave me the coping skills I actually needed. Like others mentioned, you can ask her about the confidentiality policy first (e.g. what would she deem unsafe and need disclosure) and also convey your worry about letting your parents know, this can remove some of the uncertainty and she can be aware of your concern too. And it would also allow her to better support you if and when you choose to let your parents know.

Remember your therapist is on your side, you can always voice out your worries (even worries about what she might do), so she can address them accordingly and appropriately. Plus one bonus is that it just feels nice to let it out, it'll no longer be a heavy secret you have to carry alone, she is there to help you with it. All the best!:)

xxoo, amber