Hello (New to 7 Cups)
Hello. Idk if there's a proper way to do this but hi.
I am 28 years old and have medical problems that affect my day-to-day living. I'm also deaf in an ear as an added bonus. I recently got out of a recent relationship and I was dumped for another guy. This relationship lasted 10 years and it's been tough.
At first I cut myself whenever I felt overwhelming emotional pain. Then after being questioned about my wounds, I just started burning to give myself the physical pain. More recently, whenever I've been feeling stress, anxiety, or pain I've been scratching, even in public until they bleed.
I have had a history of self harm before but got over it in the relationship I was in.. Now.. I feel alone. I don't have anyone to talk to and I.. I just like it. It feels like te ONLY outlet I have. It makes me smile and happy when I see the damage I've done to myself. When it's not enough damage, I want to do more. Idk what to do. How to stop. I feel like it helps me get through the emotional distress each time or I just bawl my eyes out for hours with no outlet.
*edited by forum mentor @rebecca947 to remove specific methods of self-harm. Feel free to PM if you have questions*
Hi there @calmMango664, welcome here. I am happy you have joined our subcommunity and I hope we will be able to help you and make you feel supported and less alone.
Thank you for sharing how you feel with us, it takes lots of strength. I hear how things are difficult for you as you have to deal both with your medical problems and your recent breakup.
It makes lots of sense to me that you would turn to SH when you are experiencing emotional pain, in order to get through it. SH is indeed a coping mechanism that can serve this function of dealing with strong emotions. However, it remains an unhealthy and very much temporary fix. Casting a light on your feelings and emotions by recognising and naming them, and focusing on the physical sensations you experience in you body right before you turn to SH, could help you to have an increasing control and choice over it.
You are not alone in your journey... I hope you will become an active part of our community, and please do not hesitate to reach out whenever you want. We are here to support you.
Here you find a few links to posts where alternatives to SH have been previously discussed. You will hopefully find something useful:
@calmMango664
Hey, mango! Welcome to the 7 Cups community, and specifically to our Self-Harm Recovery subcommunity! It's lovely to have you here, and hope you feel welcomed. Glad you introduced yourself to us! What you have to go through sounds tough, and to have to deal with a breakup, too.
Self-harm can be very tricky, and if we don't address the reasons why we do it, it's of my belief that we won't be fully recovered. I'm glad the relationship you were in helped distract you from the self-harm, but am sorry to hear that it's now back. Feeling lonely after a breakup is definitely understandable- you used to have someone else you could rely on, aside from yourself. It makes sense that self-harm feels good- it has to have some effect on us, otherwise we wouldn't be using it. Regardless of how you self-harm, it's still self-harm, damage and pain. It's a tough issue to deal with.
Feeling like self-harm is the only outlet also makes sense, but that doesn't make it true. And it's not! There are many other outlets, including journalling, exercise, talking to a therapist. There are both distractions and processing techniques that are ways to cope- processing include journalling and talking it out. As for distractions, there are many posts within this subcommunity that could help! My personal favourite talks about strategies that can be used, categorised by mood. I'll link it- it's here in this post (click me!). I've also made a post for distraction strategies, and I'll link it here aswell (click!)
@admaiorasemper also linked you with some good posts, as well! I hope all of these may help you in some way. Take care, and I hope to see you around here! <3
