I guess this is an introduction?
So hello.
My name is Penguin and I am 25 years old.
It's been years since I've even had a thought of self harm.
But recently, for the past three months, my life has been hell.
I've figured out that my partner has been cheating on me and for the past two months I have developed chronic daily migraines, sometimes 5 a day. The amount of medication that I consume is scary.
Due to the depression and my own issues with my body, and the crippling pain I have relapsed in harming myself.
Not always physical, but I've relapsed with my eating disorder and I cut myself. It gives my body a new pain to focus on, distracting it from the immense pain of my migraines.
I know this isn't a healthy way to deal with any of my issues, but it's hard to stop once it works.
But the problem is, people notice it. They notice the scars and the new marks and it makes me ashamed of my actions.
I don't want to harm my body, which is already frail due to my body breaking down from the migraines and medication.
This is not how I want to live my life
It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time with your partner and these repetitive migraines. Relapsing is always a difficult thing to go through as well. Not wanting to live like that is valid. Self harm can be used to control or distract is from the pain we are carrying. Maybe you could come up with some ways to alleviate that pain without harming yourself. I know it's hard and I know it seems like you can't escape but you can. I promise you