Be the Change we need #SpeakUp
It is time for a change on 7 Cups. There are a lot of things that have been happening as of late that have shaken the community to the core. We can not be silent anymore, we are the community, we are what makes 7 Cups work. As this is not a democracy and neither a charity, our words are often being ignored, or people who speak up are being silenced. We do not know who makes the decisions, we do not know the processes behind decisions, and the hush hush culture has caused a lot of damage to the site. How can we get heard if our claims and hurt are being ignored? That whenever we want to say something it is labelled as gossip and rumour spreading? This is not a democracy, this is a business. There are no fair trials, the word of the admins behind scenes are what matter. How can we get heard? How can we make a change? We must impact the business side of things. We, the people behind this idea, believe in the mission of 7 Cups. We are all leaders and listeners in this community, We want to support people and we want people to get support. But the prize for this has become too high.
The background to this is the banning of people who were and still are very dear to the listener community, and the whole community as a whole. The latest of the bans has affected MissZ, someone many of you have met and have fond memories of. There has not been a chance for the community to hear about the situation, there has been no transparency around what happened, no one was able to speak up for her, So we are going to do this now. We are speaking up for her, and for all the people who have been treated unfairly by admin, who have asked for transparency and been silenced. Who have been bullied, harassed or attacked on this site and no action has been taken.
In her last post to the community, MissZ said:
Speak up! Speak up in a way that is being heard and taken seriously. Don't have emotional freak outs in PMs with admins. But instead: use the report forms when it is needed. Send an email to community@7cups.com. Make a professional forum post about issues that you see on the site and suggest things to improve those. Without you speaking up, no one will know what is going on. Might it be that someone is harassing you, or that you see favouritism, or that you feel that we are not doing enough for our members. SPEAK UP! You are the community and you can change things for the better.
So this is what we are doing now. WE ARE SPEAKING UP! #Z #SpeakUp
But this is not a democracy, we might be silenced very quickly. We are even posting this anonymously, because we believe in the mission of the site! We want there to be support, we want the community to thrive. But we can not stand for this group of administrators who are about a hush hush culture, who show no respect for the people who put hours upon hours into supporting others. The things that are being done are toxic and harmful to the community. The community would not exist without the listeners, without the members, without all of you. TL;DR: scroll down!
We want:
Transparency. About everything. We want to know who makes the decisions. We need trust in admin. We need to know why decisions are being made. Even if this is not a charity or a democracy, they are nothing without their customers.
We want there to be a culture of accountability. We want people to speak up about unfairness without being scared to be punished for it. See someone being bullied? Hear hurtful rumours about someone? Report! Why dont people report? Because they are scared to be punished! Because they think nothing will happen!
We want there to be fair trials. We might know things that others dont. We might have observed situations and our observations might help to give clarity. There should not be favouritism or pity-based decisions. If an experienced community leader gets accused of something, we want to be able to speak up! We want there to be fairness The hush hush culture has made this totally impossible.
We want support and the mission to be the core that gets protected. A listener who has supported hundreds of members and has dozens of regulars, leads regular support sessions, leads a forum category or a subcommunity, can not just be banned. This is paradoxical, because we hurt the people who need support. Community standing and level of support given needs to open up for a discussion if their ban might not be too negative for the community. Let there be trials, let there be other strategies than a ban.
Mental illness is not an excuse. Stop favouritism! This is supposed to be a professional environment. If you are on your listener account and mess up because of your mental illness then you should not be on your listener account. It is about messing up because of it, it is not about having mental illness. A lot of listeners struggle with mental illness and are able to know when they are okay to give support, and take a step back when they are too unwell. But telling your sobstory or emotional manipulation through emotional threats, should never be okay and admins need to make sure that everyone is treated the same way, and anyones mental illness should not be an excuse for harmful behaviour.
Drama about a person is not the persons fault. If someone else starts gossip, spreads rumours or shares private things about someone, the person sharing those things needs to be punished, not the person the drama is about. The difference needs to be seen! Who does what? Do not punish people because others want to hurt them!
See listeners as people who actually put their free time to do good in the world. See them as people. They are not numbers, they are not an energy you can use up, and once used up, be tossed aside. Contributions count, yes, but the people who contribute should too!
TL;DR: Summary! We want: more transparency on all levels, a culture of accountability! We want there to be fair trials! We want the community to have a say when a community leader is threatened by a major punishment (like a ban) so we can speak up for them! We want the core, the mission, to be always the main focus! We want favouritism to stop and mental illness not be used as an excuse! We want people who spread lies and drama to be punished, not the people the drama is about! We want admin to not drain listeners but to actually care about them!
How do we speak up? We cancel our monthly subscriptions to support the site! As listeners, those do not make a difference to our experience of the site so it will not hurt US as much as it would hurt admin. It would not hurt the sustainability of 7 Cups, but it is a wake up call enough for admin to make changes NOW! If you are a member and want to help out, please consider how important the extra perks you get from a subscription are for you. This is a business, the only way to get heard is to affect the business side of things. So lets do this, LETS SPEAK UP! We have the power, we are the community, without us, and without our money, this whole mission is not able to function.
You can stay totally anonymous in this. You do not need to reply to any thread. You do not need to be afraid to get banned. If you are bolder though and want to give this revolution a face, use the hashtags #Z and #SpeakUp on the forums, on the feed, in PMs, in rooms. Use it all over the site. Use it everywhere, on your 7 Cups social media accounts. Share it, speak up about something you have seen in the community that was harmful for you, when you have seen someone being treated unfairly, when the lack of transparency has hurt you or made you frustrated.
This is the end of the hush hush culture. Speak up, Lets do this together!
[edited by Anomalia to remove link]
Moving this to feedback in Laura's Office -- there are other posts similar to this too if you would like to browse.
#speakup
Very wise words, and very well put! I
@azureCircle9767
it is not your right as a member to know the outcome, inner workings or details of investigations involving any member of the community. it is your right as a member to be protected by the same privacy rules that prevent you from knowing these things about others.
you seem confused in your post. on the one hand, you want "trials" and to be able to support members of the community that you favour. on the other, you want an end to "favouritism". i think the recent incident proves that no matter how much someone gives to this commnity, they are still bound by the same rules. and i certainly don't think it's reasonable to expect public trials and airing of personal details to try to figure out from all these voices telling contradictory things who is involved in what to what extent and who has which motives to be saying what and what the ultimate truth actually is or what action should be taken based on someone's impact on the community.
you want no favouritism, but you want a listener who has a bigger impact on the community to be treated differently than others. you see no favouritism, but the person you mentioned was permitted to wrap up loose ends and say goodbye when most are not.
your voices are not ignored. please speak up when you see or experience abuse or injustice. most people don't. z would want you to.
people who speak up to admin are not silenced. please speak up when you see or experience abuse or injustice. most people don't. z would want you to.
i have never seen admin not be fair and unbiased. they stick to the rules that govern the community and sometimes that ignores how much someone has given to it, yeah. and sometimes it can feel insensitive, but supporting the community does not give you a free pass to break its rules.
this is not a democracy, you are right. it is a site that is run in such a way that the anonymity and privacy of those who use it is protected at the highest level.
i have nothing but love and appreciation for this person and will miss them with all my bunny heart. i do not agree with admin's decision in this case, however i understand that they acted within the rules that bind their hands. i assure you, no one is happy about this outcome.
and if anything, i will be increasing my monthly donation, hugs. <3 xP
much lov
~bun bun
i also think it's important for us all to soak in the full text of z's final post, and not pick and choose parts of it:
I am leaving 7 Cups. This is not my choice, neither is it something that means I will move on to happier things in my life because I have had some major struggles in my life lately, both circumstances and illneess-related. Being forced to leave this site is of course exceptionally hurtful to me. But I have never been one to cause drama nor am I someone who enjoys talking about her own struggles, or speaking up for herself. And that is okay, we are all different, we are all individuals, and everyone handles rejection, hurt and unfairness differently. I maybe should have taken other approaches but would haves, could haves, should haves and what ifs do not matter at this point. I want everyone to please take my approach, okay? Please be kind, be supportive, do not spread rumours and be professional.
I am writing this post mainly to say goodbye to all the lovely people I have been able to connect to the last four years, that includes all my members, regulars or one offs, and all the listeners I have met in rooms, that sent me messages and that I have seen putting their strength and passion into something they believe in. The mission of this site is absolutely amazing, nothing will ever change that. People come and go, but the mission remains. Please never lose sight of that, however much some things on this site don't always work perfectly, the mission is why we are all here.
I know most of you see me as a mentor, a leader and someone who is wise and to look up to. So before I am leaving, I want to give you all some advice to make sure that your time on 7 Cups actually remains healthy to you.
1. Speak up! Seapk up in a way that is being heard and taken seriously. Don't have emotional freak outs in PMs with admins. But instead: use the report forms when it is needed. Send an email to community@7cups.com. Make a professional forum post about issues that you see on the site and suggest things to improve those. Without you speaking up, no one will know what is going on. Might it be that someone is harrassing you, or that you see favouritism, or that you feel that we are not doing enough for our membes. SPEAK UP! You are the community and you can change things for the better.
2. Do not get too close to people on 7 Cups and for the love of everything that you care about, do not add anyone offsite. You are here to volunteer, not to make friends, fall in love or get your social needs met. You are here to support. Friendships on 7 Cups with emotionally vulnerable people have a huuuuuge tendency to blow up into chaos and drama. You might think it is different for you, but you are not a special snowflake. Getting close to people on 7 Cups will cause drama, because we are all vulnerable. Stay professional, have shallow positive connections. Do not get hurt, I care about you all so much, and I really don't want you to get hurt!
3. Learn Boundaries. With your members and even fellow listeners. I am now saying something that is very controversial but this is my last post so let it be. Members and listeners with mental health issues, especially certain ones, will emotionally manipulate you and they will use information they have about you to hurt you. But Zzzzz, that is judgmental, not all of them are like that! Nope, not all of them are. But some are, and that is risk enough. Do not share anything about your personal life, do not let anyone push you. Have strong boundaries, for your own emotional well-being.
4. Last point. An important one. Everything that you do on 7 Cups is appreciated and often acknowledged too. And I love you all so much for everything that you do here! But whatever you do, and the higher up you are, you are not safe. It doesn't matter who you are on the site, whatever you have done, however much you have done, you as a listener, are replaceable and they will without any doubt reject your account if you mess up or you have not reported others in time before they can bring you down. But Zzzz, that is not fair to say, our community managers are lovely people. They sure are, I never said anything else. But remember, their focus is the thriving of the community, not you, not your contriibutions. Your contributions matter more than you do. So please, do not put all your passion in thinking that it is about you, it about your contributions being awesome. Soooo. Please remember you are here for others, not for you. Because otherwise there is a risk you might get hurt.
I love you all very much. I have learned so much about myself while being here. And I know the world will continue spinning without me. Please remember the mission. Please remember to be kind to each other. Please remember self-care. I am so sad right now. Bye bye, my peeps <3
MissZ
@bunnypants
"3. Learn Boundaries. With your members and even fellow listeners. I am now saying something that is very controversial but this is my last post so let it be. Members and listeners with mental health issues, especially certain ones, will emotionally manipulate you and they will use information they have about you to hurt you. But Zzzzz, that is judgmental, not all of them are like that! Nope, not all of them are. But some are, and that is risk enough. Do not share anything about your personal life, do not let anyone push you. Have strong boundaries, for your own emotional well-being."
painfully true, yet all too true none the less.
If you ever look over this thread Miss Z, I wish you all the best in your future. Take care of yourself.
To be fair, I think #z has been very mature in how she handled this. I believe it is necessary to #speakup. I think she has been wronged, I believe she should have been able to speakup for herself more. She admits that she finds that hard to do so I believe she should have been helped instead of banned.
I don't think there should be an open trial. That could be very damaging too. I understand rules but we are all people, #Z is an amazing person and individual that deserves to be heard. I feel for her and I completely understand all the commotion around this. It is also sad that it is necessary to use a fake account because your afraid to be banned as well. If you feel you are up against a wall you need to use tougher materials to get through. This is a natural response. I hope this will be considered too before judgement falls.
I am just a member, I come here to 7cups to find healing and support.This is highly confusing to me. We should be able to feel safe, this is what is been said all the time. Right now it does not feel safe. If people you learn to trust over time are being banned and afraid to be banned for speaking up.
For me this is a reason to reconsider my membership. I am not gone yet, I still find a lot of good here too. as I said, it is confusing.
Please talk to each other
For those of u thinking it was wrong to ban her- - [redacted]
All these things shown [redacted] . All these things by a person so highly thought of. People make mistakes . But this happened SEVERAL times . Stop giving the admin the hassle and calling it injustice . They are protecting u all [removed by bunnypants]
U are all saying speak up . Well this is me speaking up
@considerateLime3073
I hope you didn't just dox some poor sod.
@DaveMcGrath this has been known for many week . I wish people were not so quick to make judgement wen some one is trying to be open . It is after all what most people are asking for
I give up . I guess people have already played judge and jury and no matter what is shown they will still see fault with the site actually sticking to the guidelines n rules
@considerateLime3073
Hey don't be so hard on yourself! I think most people actually agree with you. The admins agree with you as well, that's why they made the decision to do so despite all the backlash.
And well as you can tell not many people are actually responding openly to this, I think a lot of people agree with the admins as well, it's just that they're not openly voicing it. I think people tend to agree we need to be fair despite position.
