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7 Cups for the searching soul book - Read and review to get a badge!
by Hope
Last post
 20 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Some of you may be aware that we have our very own book! It's called the 7 Cups for the searching soul. There is even a training /self-help guide based on the same book. The book focuses on helping you understand your behavior better, provide you with tips and tricks to grow as a person, and provides in-depth information about how our platforms can support you with your journey of growth. We encourage everyone to read the book and reflect on its contents. The admin team and I have read the book and we have really enjoyed the overall experience. You can download your copy of the book on Amazon for free here [https://www.amazon.com/7-Cups-Searching-Soul-7Cups-ebook/dp/B01BFWMCXY] * Please note that the book is available in the following Amazon marketplaces: United States, United Kingdom, Canada, India, Mexico, Brazil, Germany, Japan, Spain, France, Italy, Australia, and the Netherlands. Don't see your country listed? We've got you covered! Please find PDF and MOBI versions here [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/611898]. To get the Soul Searcher badge please follow the following steps: Download the e-book from Amazon (if your country provides it) or use the second link and read it. Leave us a review on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/7-Cups-Searching-Soul-7Cups-ebook/dp/B01BFWMCXY] or Good reads [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28930126-7-cups-for-the-searching-soul?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=465CcxbNjk&rank=1]. Respond to this thread, let us know you did step 1 & 2 and tell us what were your favourite bits! We will appreciate your support in downloading and reviewing the book as more downloads/reviews help us reach and support more people.
GlenM profile picture
3 Key Things!
by GlenM
Last post
 Friday
...See more Please post here 3 key things you have done to help move 7 Cups forward. I will be doing this on a daily basis. Feel free to do it daily, weekly, or monthly. Right now we've got thousands of people doing a lot of work on the site, but we don't have a clear way of being able to support one another. The goal of this thread is to help all of us see all the good work that is going on. Please ask any questions or share thoughts!
Hope profile picture
Follow us on social media!
by Hope
Last post
 September 24th
...See more Hi everyone, I hope you all are well. Did you know you can follow 7 Cups on your favorite social media platforms? Social media can be a mixed place, on one end we can find accounts/pages related to all of our favorite things but on the other hand, it can make us compare ourselves to others and sometimes interact with less than positive content. On our social media accounts, we share positive content focusing on inspirational quotes, the great things happening in our community, and what's up in the mental health world with a little fun in between. Our aim is to provide you with content that is good for your mental health. Following 7Cups social media accounts not only makes a positive impact on your feed, but it also helps us reach more people. More people can know about our platform and can benefit from our mission. That's quite a win, win if you ask me! To acknowledge and show our appreciation for the support you show you and us! Everyone who follows the following social media accounts will receive the ‘Super Supporter badge' Instagram - @7Cups [https://www.instagram.com/7cups/] Twitter - @7Cups [https://twitter.com/7cups] & @7CupsTeen [https://twitter.com/7CupsTeen] Facebook - 7CupsOfTea [https://www.facebook.com/7CupsOfTea/] Youtube - 7 Cups of Tea [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYsco2bYgzQzUsLnaO899Qg] LinkedIn - 7-cups [https://www.linkedin.com/company/7-cups] You can also follow 7 Cups Academy on LinkedIn! 7-cups-academy [https://www.linkedin.com/company/7-cups-academy/] Step 1) Hit follow! (We understand that not everyone has accounts on all social media platforms so you can follow the ones that you have accounts on) Step 2) Reply to this thread and let us know that you have followed us!
GlenM profile picture
October 2026 Community Update!
by GlenM
Last post
 3 hours ago
...See more Dear Community, I hope that you all are well! Things are good here! I was just sharing with H that I have some turtles by my house. I built them a turtle island. H thought it’d be fun to share it with you all. This is version 4 or 5. The original versions kept not working as well as I hoped. I had to keep iterating. So far so good on this version!     Speaking of iterations - please find my latest, simplified, streamlined, and hopefully much better version of the Way of the River: Paddling Together here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/TheWayoftheRiverPaddlingTogether_391098/] I think this is version 30+. I’m very much hoping this version is better. If you have a chance to check it out, then I’d welcome your honest thoughts! On the CMU front, we’ll soon be messaging many of you to participate in the virtual client study. We will be rolling out a certificate and badge for completion. Once the study is done, we’ll roll it out to everyone. We are also making good progress on the peer certification front and will be submitting our curriculum for review soon. I’m with H in that this is one of my favorite months of the year too. A sweater, jeans, and a cup of coffee looking at the colorful trees. What a great season. I am thankful for all of you! Best, GlenM H Happy October, my favorite month! (Does anyone here do any autumnal activities? Lemme know below!) I spent much of my month assisting our Mentor Leader, @ChillingRain, with renovating the Verified Listener Team. Lots of cleanup and reorganization over these weeks, but the team is looking stronger than it's been in a long time. Thanks to everyone who’s helped us get back on our feet! If you’re interested in joining the team to get more listeners verified, drop Rain a PM. Becoming a verified listener is a critical milestone in the listener journey. If you are not yet verified, check out this post (HERE) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/listenerjourney/ListenerVerificationProject_1839/GetVerifiedFastEasy_348504/] after reading this update! Another area of intense focus has been the Welcome Committee. @Sealiously has kindly stepped up to move operations along. We need many new members on this core onboarding team. If you’re a listener who wants to make an immediate impact on our platform and make newbies feel welcomed into our tribe, please check out this post (HERE) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/listenerjourney/ListenerVerificationProject_1839/GetVerifiedFastEasy_348504/] for the criteria to apply.  Hope The main update this month has been a change to the internship extension policy to make it more flexible and supportive for interns who need extra time. Extensions will no longer require additional coursework beyond the first four-week extension period, which should help reduce added pressure for those already working to complete requirements. Maximum durations still apply (12 weeks for Community Track and 24 weeks for Student Track), and the update is currently being trialed until December 31, 2026. Full details here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/interns/InternshipProjectAnnouncementandUpdates_1899/7CupsInternshipExtensionPolicyUpdate_390553/] We currently have a couple of mentors in trial for the 7 Cups Internship Program, and we’re excited about the extra support they’ll bring as we move into October. Outside of that, it’s been a steady month with ongoing maintenance and coordination across programs. On the community front, I put out two new community posts this month. The first, Rethinking Success [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/RethinkingSuccessTheGoodNewstheBadNewsandtheHiddenCostofGettingGood_390212/], is all about how real progress actually comes from making mistakes and putting in the repetitions, rather than expecting to get everything right on attempt one. The second, The Trap of "What If" [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/TheTrapofWhatIfAndWhythePastCouldntHaveHappenedAnyOtherWay_390992/], dives into why replaying past mistakes in our heads just drains our energy, and how switching to a "Next Play" mindset helps us focus on what we can actually do right now. If that’s your kind of thing, I drop shorter, bite-sized versions of these reflections in my ongoing thread, Life, As It Is (Reflections) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LifeAsItIsReflectionsSep2026andonwards_390987/]. Feel free to drop in, follow along, or subscribe to get updates.  SoulfullyAButterfly This month was focused on more progress on the Peer Support training front, with exciting updates on training/assessment perspectives. In addition, we are planning the next community event and reviving other therapeutic areas like purposeful closed group spaces such as the Huddles for both adults and teens. Bookworm4 ATL and Safety reports were processed in a timely manner as per our community guidelines. Please note that you can reach out to me directly for any concerns or questions Ambassador Highlights: AnnaSilverberg - Quality Mentors/Teen Stars, Listener Coaching Team & G.Admin Fall is here, with all the colorful leafs 🍂 Quality Mentors/Teen Stars have been diligent in sharing their wisdom, guiding our listeners in their path of listening. I am very proud of all the work they do. If you’d like to become one, click this link here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe_5Tku49HtnxkqYGVpBvz_j3n-jHbYJh305JMMjYQymUATDg/viewform] and if you meet the requirements, feel free to apply. Our amazingly brilliant Listener Coaches have been putting in a lot of work, coaching and providing information where it’s needed. This month, 74 requests were replied to and each one done with care, lots of active listening as well as empathetic guidance. The passion they carry is out of this world, and that’s something that is easy to see 🙂‍↕️ 💓🐑💓 On other work, we’ve been exploring boundaries in Teenie town, as well as focusing on understanding the chatroom rules better, you can check out our teenified chatroom rules here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/TeenSafety_2661/ChatroomRulesTeenified_390322/] 🙂‍↕️ Embrace the time of 👻🎃🦇Halloween 🦇👻🎃 and have yourself a wonderful day 🍂 Rebekah - Safety Team (Patrol, Outreach, Discussions), Safety & Knowledge Sub-Community & G.Admin Hi everyone! Safety Team has been absolutely smashing records this month, with so many new onboards and a record number of flags from some users on SP. Their dedication and hard work absolutely does not go unnoticed 💙 We have a new teen PA! @cheerfulKiwi1776 has shown a lot of excellent work within safety, and I'm so excited to see where she goes! 🌟 As always, we are recruiting for Safety Patrol! Apply HERE [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeiPkuyjGZs7x2NY5b1tgkO5QoRRiXzFFobMpHiWthKUxgaKg/viewform] if you meet the criteria [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SafetyKnowledgeat7Cups_181/SafetyPatrolTeam_1685/SafetyPatrolOutreachTeamFAQ_285029/]!
GlenM profile picture
The Way of the River: Paddling Together
by GlenM
Last post
 15 hours ago
...See more Hello Community! We are all on the river of life. We all hit rocks, or challenges, that can be difficult to overcome. And we paddle through those hard times together. For a long time I've been working on a simple way to describe how we get through hard water here at 7 Cups. Many of you helped shape it through your posts, feedback, and stories over the years. How this thread works: This is our home base on the river. Read through once, then come back anytime, every week, every day, or whenever you hit a rock, and share the rock you're facing and the paddle stroke you're taking. Jump to the last page to see where everyone is now. Welcome You belong here, just as you are. You don't have to have it figured out. You don't have to be the strong one. You're welcome here because you're hurting, not in spite of it. Everyone here has hit rocks, and that's what makes us a community. You don't earn your place by doing anything. You already have it. The paddle strokes below aren't a test. They're simply what we do together. Card (You can take a screenshot of this or save the image for a reminder) You belong here, just as you are. You can't control the river. You can choose how and when to paddle. We are paddling alongside you. Avoided rocks come back. Faced rocks change us. * Name. Say what the rock is. * Reach. Ask for help. Take the rope someone throws you. * Balance. Breathe, rest, let the feeling pass. * Face. Turn toward it. Ask what it might be teaching you. * Act. Take your next paddle stroke. * Let Go. Forgive, and release the outcome. * Give. Paddle alongside someone. In rough water: Name, Reach, Balance. Remember * Paddling away from danger is navigating too. * Some rocks are losses, not lessons. We can carry those together. * If you're in danger, get to shore. Reach crisis support now. An easy way to remember the strokes Navigating Rapids Builds Friendship And Lasting Grace Each first letter is a stroke: Name, Reach, Balance, Face, Act, Let Go, Give. Anyone who has rafted with others knows it's true: getting through rough water together makes you friends and aware of grace.  The Way * Life brings rocks, and some rivers are rougher than others. * We avoid them. We deny, blame, numb, or thrash. * Avoided rocks come back. We keep hitting the same kinds of rocks until we face them. * Facing rocks, with others beside us, changes us. * Wisdom isn't fewer rocks. It's spending less time on them, and more people we can help. The Seven Paddle Strokes Each paddle stroke has something you do, and a way it connects you to others. 1. Name You: Say what the rock is in plain words. Challenges become a little easier to hold once we can put words to them. Together: When we name a rock to someone else, we don't have to be alone with it anymore. 2. Reach You: Ask for help. Take the rope someone throws you. Let someone in. This is the stroke we can come back to again and again. Together: We heal through relationships before we heal through techniques. Sometimes we need someone simply to listen. Sometimes we need someone to remind us that we're not alone. Choose people who help you feel safe enough to be yourself and face what you're going through. 3. Balance You: Stay upright in rough water. Breathe. Rest. Give the feeling time to move through you. You're the sky, not the cloud: feelings pass through you, but they aren't all of you. Look after the basics too: sleep, food, movement, and time to recover. Together: Sometimes we borrow someone else's calm before we can find our own. Sitting beside a calm person can make the river feel a little less rough. 4. Face You: Notice the rocks you've been trying not to see. Avoiding something isn't a failure; sometimes avoidance is how we survived something difficult. When you feel safe enough, begin to turn toward it. You can ask: What happened? What am I feeling? What do I need now? And, when you're ready: What might this rock be teaching me? For some people, faith, God, a Higher Power, or a sense that Life can be trusted can be part of this. For others, meaning comes from somewhere else. There is no single way to make sense of what happens to us. Together: Whatever you believe, you don't have to face the rock alone. We're paddling alongside you. 5. Act You: Take your next paddle stroke. It doesn't have to be a big one. Maybe you need to solve something practical. Maybe you need to say, "I'm sorry." Maybe you need to set a boundary. Maybe you need to leave a situation that isn't good for you. The paddle is yours. Together: Others can help you think it through. They can listen, help you see things differently, and cheer you on. 6. Let Go You: Challenges often stir up old hurts and remind us of difficult past relationships. Forgive the person from your past that this brings up, forgive yourself, and forgive the person in front of you now. Forgiveness doesn't mean removing a boundary or staying somewhere that hurts you. A boundary can come first. Letting go also means accepting what is, even when it isn't what we wanted, and loosening our grip on how we thought things should turn out. We can't control every bend in the river, but we can trust that, whatever comes next, we can meet it. You'll know you've let go when the old hurt doesn't catch you the way it used to. Together: Letting go is easier when someone is paddling beside you. 7. Give You: When you have the strength, paddle alongside someone else. You don't have to fix their problems or tell them where to go. Just be there. Share what the river has taught you when it might help. Listen when they need to be heard. Together: Paddle with them, not for them. You can help others while still needing help yourself. That's how belonging grows. How Belonging Grows You belong from the moment you arrive. But the feeling of belonging usually grows in stages: * Uncertain. "Will I be okay here?" * Safe. "Kindness here is reliable." * Known. "I know names, and people know mine." * At home. "I'm glad I'm here." * Paddling alongside. "I help others find their place here." Share where you are on the river This thread is our place to paddle together. Come back anytime. Rock: What you're facing (one or two lines is plenty) Paddle Stroke: Which paddle stroke you're taking (Name, Reach, Balance, Face, Act, Let Go, or Give) Beams/Prayers? Ask if you'd like them Then reply to at least one other paddler. When you reply, paddle with them, not for them. Big rocks and small rocks are both welcome. A flat tire counts! If a rock shifts, reply to your earlier comment and tell us how it went. Add "OK to share" if we can someday share your story anonymously to help others find their way down the river. I'll go first below!  Navigating rapids builds friendship and lasting grace. See you on the river!
Hope profile picture
Life, As It Is (Reflections) - Sep 2026 and onwards
by Hope
Last post
 20 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone, I hope you’ve been well. Life, however you look at it, is not easy. It’s demanding, unpredictable, and often doesn’t go the way we plan. It can also feel isolating at times, like you’re the only one dealing with certain challenges, or like you’re stuck in patterns of thinking that don’t really help. But if you look into philosophy, psychology, or even religious and spiritual traditions, you’ll notice something consistent. People have been dealing with the same kinds of struggles for a very long time. And over time, they’ve developed different ways of understanding and handling those realities. Just adding a bit of context to this thread. I usually share a reflection every Monday and Friday with the admin team. There’s no fixed theme. The idea is simply to revisit useful ways of thinking about life, often drawn from people who have spent time studying it deeply or have navigated it well. Most of these lean optimistic, but not in a surface-level way. More in the sense of helping make peace with challenges, uncertainty, and the limits of our control, and finding ways to think about them that are a bit more steady. I’ll try to post these here as well. You can subscribe to the thread if you’d like to get notified when I add a new reflection. Expect about one or two posts per week. Feel free to respond, add your own thoughts, or just read quietly. And you can ignore it entirely too. Just putting it out there in case it’s useful to anyone.
Hope profile picture
7 Cups for the searching soul book - Read and review to get a badge!
by Hope
Last post
 20 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Some of you may be aware that we have our very own book! It's called the 7 Cups for the searching soul. There is even a training /self-help guide based on the same book. The book focuses on helping you understand your behavior better, provide you with tips and tricks to grow as a person, and provides in-depth information about how our platforms can support you with your journey of growth. We encourage everyone to read the book and reflect on its contents. The admin team and I have read the book and we have really enjoyed the overall experience. You can download your copy of the book on Amazon for free here [https://www.amazon.com/7-Cups-Searching-Soul-7Cups-ebook/dp/B01BFWMCXY] * Please note that the book is available in the following Amazon marketplaces: United States, United Kingdom, Canada, India, Mexico, Brazil, Germany, Japan, Spain, France, Italy, Australia, and the Netherlands. Don't see your country listed? We've got you covered! Please find PDF and MOBI versions here [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/611898]. To get the Soul Searcher badge please follow the following steps: Download the e-book from Amazon (if your country provides it) or use the second link and read it. Leave us a review on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/7-Cups-Searching-Soul-7Cups-ebook/dp/B01BFWMCXY] or Good reads [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28930126-7-cups-for-the-searching-soul?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=465CcxbNjk&rank=1]. Respond to this thread, let us know you did step 1 & 2 and tell us what were your favourite bits! We will appreciate your support in downloading and reviewing the book as more downloads/reviews help us reach and support more people.
GlenM profile picture
Part V: Sustainability Update
by GlenM
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Dear Community, I’ve got 4 kids. Part of my job as a father is to help raise my kids so that they can function autonomously in the real world. How do I do that? I care for them and let them “bake” until they are young adults. By bake I mean I want to create an environment where they can mature and develop their strengths as much as possible before launching in the real world. What does this look like? I cover all costs and provide a rich and nourishing environment to prepare them for college. Then they go to college. I cover tuition for the first 3 years. They cover their last year. For room and board, I cover the first year, but starting sophomore year I cover about 70% of their costs; they have to cover 30% of their rent and food costs by working in the summer and part-time throughout the year. I do this in a staged manner so that by the time they are in grad school or have graduated they are more or less living on their own and able to cover all of their living costs. I’m of course here to help and have signed on to pay for weddings for my 3 girls and do my best to pitch in during hard times. In this context, I see 7 Cups as my 5th child. By far, my most expensive child! I have worked hard with the team and community leaders to create a high warmth and high expectations community for the child we are all raising.  And, man, has that kid matured and become smart and strong! When we first started, there were near constant fires. I was running all over the place. It was like having a very big and unwieldy newborn! Over time, 7 Cups went through early childhood, adolescence, and now, finally, it is in early adulthood and getting ready to launch (just like my twins). We don’t talk about this much, but 7 Cups is big. It is a 99.99% site. That means it is larger than 99.99% of other sites on the Internet. If you lined up people from shortest to tallest. 7 Cups would be at the very tall end of the line and would be 6 feet 7 inches tall. Taller than Michael Jordan, but not quite as tall as Lebron James. As you might imagine, it is very expensive to run 7 Cups. I won’t get into details, but I can share that it is far more expensive than anything else I have ever done in my life. You might be wondering - yes, that seems obvious - how does 7 Cups make money? At present, we make money in 3 main ways: we sell online therapy, premium accounts and branded versions of the platform to organizations. Part of my job as the CEO is to make sure we have enough money. Just like I have to make sure my family has enough money. It wouldn’t be great if I said sorry kids we can’t go to the grocery store this week. Over the last 12 years, financing 7 Cups has been the thing that I have worked the hardest at doing. It is also the most challenging thing I’ve done in my life. It is very difficult for a number of reasons. One, it is just very expensive. Two, we help a lot of people with less financial resources, so not a lot of people can afford therapy or premium accounts. Three, when you sell to an organization it is not uncommon for funding to stop or for other unforeseen challenges to arise. You can see it is like spinning 5 plates at once. I’ve been keeping all of those plates spinning for 12 years. Like with my twins, it is now time for 7 Cups to start covering more of its own room and board costs. I need 7 Cups to start to generate more of its own revenue. In part, this is because I’m trying to be a good Dad. You don’t want your kids dependent on you forever. There might come a time when I’m not able to provide as much as I want, so it is good for all my kids - including 7 Cups - to be able to function on their own. This leads me to advertising. I never did advertising on 7 Cups because I was afraid it would negatively impact its cognitive and emotional development. If we started advertising earlier, we would have become dependent on it for revenue. We would have been tempted to grow the population (even if that included folks that were harmful) because we would have wanted more page views to drive more revenue. I didn’t want us to be in that compromised position, especially when 7 Cups was still growing up. Now, like with my twins, 7 Cups is growing up and becoming stronger and smarter. We are past the place of it being vulnerable. Adding advertising now will not hurt 7 Cups as a developing organism. It will, instead, strengthen 7 Cups because it will begin to function in a more autonomous and independent manner. This will allow for more dedicated progress. How it has been with us historically is that I go and close a big account. This is great because it provides us with money to help cover costs. We work hard to align big client needs with the needs of the community so that whatever we build is a two for one deal. It helps the client that is paying us AND it helps the community. Sometimes, however, clients want things that don’t have any impact on the community. We have to build these things because they bring in much needed revenue, but they are also a distraction from our core mission of building a free, global, mental health system. Continuous revenue from advertising will enable us the freedom to focus more on our mission and expand outreach so much farther than we could. The economy, funding challenges, etc. are extremely difficult to navigate. There is a lot of uncertainty and when you think you can count on something, well, sometimes you cannot and then it is very stressful to find new ways of covering our costs. We are going to be thoughtful, careful, and smart about how we do this. Most of the advertising will be for guests (people with no account that are just visiting our expert articles or Q and A), but there will also be advertising for members and listeners too. We are going to be very mindful of ethics, privacy, and consent. Ads will be both programmatic and contextual. Programmatic works like most of the advertising on the Internet. You look for shoes and then shoe ads follow you around the Web. Contextual advertising isn't tied to you or your behavior. It instead looks at content on the screen to display ads. If you opt in, then you'll get programmatic ads. If you opt out, then you'll get contextual ads. We will be working on an extra build so that older users can write-in to support (help.7cups.com) to request ads being turned off. This has taken us quite a while to build. It was more complicated than we expected, so we are mostly focused now on getting these ads live. Please share any feedback below. This is something that we are researching now and consulting with experts on. It will be a bit of a phased rollout. We’ll ask for feedback along the way. In some ways, this is a big milestone for all of us. The child we’ve been collectively raising - 7 Cups - will start to function in a more independent manner. We’ll have more reliable finances and will be able to make more progress. It’ll be a huge relief for me too. I love 7 Cups, but being primarily responsible for funding it has been a very heavy burden for me to carry. I had more energy and broader shoulders when I was 36. I’ve been through the fire many times now parenting 7 Cups. I’m happy that it will soon not be resting on my own strength and, thankfully, good fortune. Please let me know if you have any thoughts or questions and I’ll do my best to answer them below. Best, GlenM PS - funding 7 Cups has been something we’ve been working on from the start. If you are interested in the history of 7 Cups and sustainability, then you can read check out the earlier posts linked below: Part I: Sustainability Update Part II: Sustainability Update Summer 2016 [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/PartIISustainabilityUpdateSummer2016_46497/] Part III: Transparency Part IV: 7 Cups is Here to Stay! We are Now Sustainable! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/PartIV7CupsisHeretoStayWeareNowSustainable_57188/] 
GlenM profile picture
3 Key Things!
by GlenM
Last post
 Friday
...See more Please post here 3 key things you have done to help move 7 Cups forward. I will be doing this on a daily basis. Feel free to do it daily, weekly, or monthly. Right now we've got thousands of people doing a lot of work on the site, but we don't have a clear way of being able to support one another. The goal of this thread is to help all of us see all the good work that is going on. Please ask any questions or share thoughts!
Hope profile picture
The Trap of "What If" (And Why the Past Couldn't Have Happened Any Other Way)
by Hope
Last post
 October 1st
...See more Hi everyone! We have all been caught in the mental loop of a past mistake, a missed opportunity, or a project that went sideways. The brain immediately starts bargaining with reality: "If I had just spoken up earlier..." or "If I had only double-checked that file, this wouldn't have happened." But there is a difficult, surprisingly stabilizing truth about the past: it was never optional. Consider this quote from Marcus Aurelius: * “Whatever happens to you has been waiting to happen since the beginning of time. The twining strands of fate linked your existence and the occurrence together from the start.” A similar idea is captured by Alberto Barajas in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: * “It is so for it can’t be otherwise.” What both thinkers point to is the structural reality of cause and effect. Once something has happened, it could not have unfolded in any other way given the exact chain of circumstances, decisions, knowledge, and variables that led up to it. The Illusion of the Alternate Timeline A lot of our mental suffering comes from a psychological glitch called hindsight bias. We look back at a situation holding the knowledge we gained after the event, and we use that future knowledge to judge our past selves. We tell ourselves we should have known better, creating the illusion that a different outcome was actually on the table. But the past is not a set of open possibilities. It is a fixed sequence that has already played out. You made the decision based on the exact mental state, context, and information available at that exact second. This isn't just an abstract philosophical concept. It aligns directly with the Islamic understanding of Qadr (Divine decree). Whatever has occurred was decreed in accordance with divine wisdom. There is a well-known Prophetic tradition that states: “Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you, and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by.”  Reference: Jami’ at-Tirmidhi Hadith 2516 (part of a longer hadith) Across different traditions and languages, the underlying principle is identical: reality unfolds as it is meant to within its system. Accepting this is not a sign of cold detachment, but a quiet recognition of reality. Acceptance is Not Passivity: The "Next Play" Mentality It is easy to misread this as fatalism, the idea that if the past was fixed, our actions do not matter. But accepting that the past couldn't have happened otherwise is actually the ultimate tool for high performance. In sports psychology, legendary basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski drilled a two-word phrase into his players after every mistake: "Next play." When an athlete turns the ball over, that event instantly becomes fixed history. If they spend three seconds holding their head in frustration, they fail to get back on defense, and the opponent scores an easy basket. That is the Double Penalty: * The First Penalty: The original mistake (which unfolded according to its causes). * The Second Penalty: The extra damage caused by being mentally absent for the next moment because you were busy mourning the past. When you run a mental simulation of "If only I had...", you are split-tasking. You are spending a chunk of your current cognitive bandwidth on an outcome that no longer exists, leaving you with less energy to navigate what is right in front of you. Releasing the past is not about throwing your hands up in surrender. It is about recovering 100% of your bandwidth for the present moment. Putting It Into Action: Moving From "Rewriting" to "Executing" Instead of getting stuck in the trap of rewriting what has already happened, try applying a simple two-question filter the next time a project hits a snag or a mistake is made: 1. "What are the facts of the current board?" Strip away the judgment, guilt, and alternate timelines. State only what is physically true right now. Not: "I ruined the client meeting because I did not prepare enough." Instead: "The meeting did not go well, the client expressed concerns about the timeline, and the revised deadline is Friday." 2. "Given where the board stands, what is the next play?" The past is closed. The current board is all you have. What is the single most effective action required right now to move forward? By separating the cause (which is done) from the response (which is open), you stop wasting energy on blame and instantly pivot back into agency. Over to You We often think of resilience as a massive, heroic trait. But real resilience is usually much quieter. It is simply the ability to drop the dead weight of "what should have been" and respond cleanly to "what is." * Where in your current work or life are you paying a "Second Penalty" by dwelling on an outcome that is already fixed? * What would it look like to call "Next Play" on that situation today? Let's discuss in the comments below.
GlenM profile picture
Welcome Home! Come Sit by the Fire
by GlenM
Last post
 September 30th
...See more I took my Dad to Ireland for a bucket list trip. Our goal was to learn more about our ancestors. We had some info from Ancestry.com [http://ancestory.com], but were pretty much just winging it. We go to hike the Gap of Dunloe. They have a big map that says “you are here” and we notice a little shop/restaurant called “Moriarty’s” a mile or so away. We are like no way! We do the hike and then go to the shop. I walk in and say I’m a Moriarty. Are there any Moriarty’s here? The person behind the desk says Con Moriarty [https://www.wildernesstravel.com/leaders/con-moriarty/] is here. He is a historian and loves to connect with other Moriartys. Let me see if he is free. We talk with him for an hour and then he invites us to his home, gives us a couple of books, and points us to the town where our family came from.  We head out for Castlegregory the next day - the town Con pointed us to, where my great grandfather was likely baptised and where my people are buried. We grab a coffee and share with the person that we are here to do some ancestral research. The person in the coffee shop said oh, there is a Moriarty next door working in the pharmacy! Then we found the graveyard. Here's a pic. 12% of the names were Moriartys. I was interested in our ancestry from when I was a young teen. My father didn’t really want to talk too much about it, because his parents were not the best parents. He almost died as a kid a few times, had to steal food from the grocery store for his younger sister etc. I mean not good at all. Understandably, this kind of work brought up some uncomfortable things for him. What I hadn’t realized prior to the trip was that there was a metaphorical big steel wall that was in my lineage or family history. I wasn’t even aware that I was reaching back for a sense of understanding, purpose, or meaning. When we met Con and talked with him, I felt like he welcomed me in. He stopped by the place we were staying and said things like “I keep thinking of you guys.” He highlighted how the Irish people that stayed in Ireland had a deep sense of loss, a gap in the social fabric, from all the daughters and sons that emigrated. And, when we come back home, they have a deep desire to connect because it allows them to heal and bridge things from their side. Some of you know that I’m a pretty simple guy. I spend a lot of time in prayer, meditation etc. I’m kind of a monk. Con understood that about me. He was that way himself and he shared other Moriarty’s in history who he felt were more like us. These discussions were a visceral experience to me. We share the same last name, but are very likely not related. Still, there was a sort of spiritual connection. It allowed me to open a new road or path into my ancestral past. The steel wall or cul-de-sac that stopped at my grandfather was not the only path I had. Now I had a new path and I could feel the connection from me to Con to the past to other Moriarty’s that were likely more monastic, like me. I struggled with a way to capture this. It felt like I had 4 empty chambers (or 4 connected rooms) behind me. I wasn’t even aware they were there before. Then each one had a fire in the chamber and a sort of continuous flame that passed through all of them. I felt my ancestry was healing. I've been working on this for decades and could feel some doors open that had been shut.  I've been marinating on this experience for the last month. The more I sit with it the more I think of us and what we are building at 7 Cups. This isn't about the trip to Ireland. It is about sharing my past, finding a stranger and him welcoming me in.  We refer to ourselves as a community. Sometimes people call us a tribe. There are other times that we’ve been described as a big family. Many of you have written to me over the years. You have shared this deep sense of connection, belonging, and like hey I might be unusual, but I’m not alone! I’ve found my people. I want to extend what Conn did for me to all of you. I’d like 7 Cups to be a place where any that are searching can find a deep sense of connection, belonging, and lineage. We are not related - just like I was not related to Conn - but we share a love for compassion, connection, and courage. Con didn't welcome me because I had it figured out. He made room for me while I was searching. I want to pass this same welcome to you. If you are not sure you’ve found your home yet in this world, then I invite you into my home. Please sit by the fire. I’m glad you found us and I’m very glad we found you!
Hope profile picture
Taking Care of Each Other - Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups
by Hope
Last post
 September 27th
...See more Hi everyone! This is a forum post linked to the path 'Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups' [https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/preventing-burnout-at-7-cups/] What have you done today/recently to prevent burnout in a fellow community user? This can look like: • Encouraging self-care • Reminding someone of the importance of boundaries • Covering for someone so they can take a self-care break
Hope profile picture
What have you done to prevent burnout today? Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups
by Hope
Last post
 September 27th
...See more Hi everyone! This is a forum post linked to the path 'Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups' [https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/preventing-burnout-at-7-cups/] What have you done to prevent burnout today? This can a variety of things like: • Saying no to a task because you have enough on your plate • Taking part in self-care activities • Taking a self-care break from 7 Cups
chaosworld247 profile picture
can't message a listener?
by chaosworld247
Last post
 September 27th
...See more So I've been using this app consistently for awhile now and I log onto today or tonight and everytime I click on my listeners chat it comes back with a something went wrong. message and I don't know? It let me update my password but for some reason I can't talk with any listeners at all I can't open the chat
AffyAvo profile picture
Ads blocking chat options
by AffyAvo
Last post
 September 24th
...See more @GlenM Under the chat option, I can't send out a general request with all the new therapy ads. The option has dropped off my screen. This is using mobile browser, on Android.  There is a workaround, I can do so from the forum main page (but this is the less expected option for connecting with listeners).

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