Parents don't approve of studying abroad. Advice?
My sister called me last night and said that our parents dont agree with her studying abroad. She wants to come and study Foreign Literature here in St. Petersburg. I feel bad for her because she really cried over the phone saying she really wants to study abroad for college.
Were not necessarily rich but were also not dirt poor. My sister has her college fund set and I have a job her in St. Petersburg. I have a house and a wife that I met on a foreign dating event. Basically, Im established here already and if she comes here, it wont be a problem. The only reason why our parents dont want her here is that its too far. They said one child on another continent is enough already.
How do I help my sister? Do I side with my parents and just convince my sister to study in the states? I need legit advice. Will really appreciate your help.
@bigbrother2
How old is she? If not in college yet I would say she needs to stay in the US. If not, then I don't see an issue with it since she would be an adult.
@bigbrother2
Picking sides is a hard thing to do. It really depends on how you feel about this situation. Do you think your sister can handle studying abroad? I know that she will have you near which will help a lot, but I just mean look at the situation objectively. If she is prone to reckless behavior or is too trusting of people and strangers or gives in easily to peer pressure, she probably shouldn't study abroad. If you think she can handle it, then support her decision. You don't necessarily need to intervene with your parents on her behalf. She does still live under the roof and so they are still the rule makers, but you can tell her that you support/don't support her desire to travel abroad.
How long would she like to be in St. Petersburg? Would, say, an exchange term/year be possible if she went to university in the US (I assume that's where you are)?
Perhaps you could talk to your parents about the matter, not picking sides. Find out why exactly they don't want her to go. Perhaps they think they'll miss her too much because both their children won't be with them but don't want to tell this to your sister. She will of course come back to them after those months, but it's still a long time and a big adjustment for your parents to suddenly be without both of their children and just the two of them. I think it might be a good idea to find out about your parents' thoughts. Just a talk about the matter, no decision making.
@bigbrother2
I think the reason your parents are giving is ridiculous. In one hand I get it, is hard for parents to be away from their "child", yet your sister isn't a 5 year old anymore. She's growing to be an adult woman who will need a good curriculum in the future. An experience abroad does ALOT in terms of curriculum, to not mention you end up exploring alot, learning different cultures and even have different perspectives. Is a super healthy and educational experience.
Your parents should be more open minded instead of completly turning it down before giving it a shot.
So I think you should help your sister. If she's a responsible young lady and has her mind in the right place I don't see why not.
I want to attempt to answer your post with regard to cultural differences. How important is it for your and your sister to respect the wishes of your family? For example, when you make important decisions do you base your reasoning off what is best for yourself, or what is best for your family? Your parents' reaction is understandable. In some sense all decent parents want to keep their children close, yet they also want to see their child spread their wings and become successful in their own ways.
It appears that this will be a family decision, however the decision is also ultimately up to your sister.
Hello and thank you for reaching out :)
In regard to your question, how about you try talking to your parents about what the issue might actually be in your sister studying abroad? Maybe they have a different perspective regarding the situation. Hopefully talking with them will give you a clearer view of the things and you would be able to choose whose side to pick. I understand picking sides is a difficult thing especially when its your family. But maybe once you know things better and actually choose sides, you will be able to make both parties see each other's reasons.
Let us know how it goes :)
