Control issues
Im currently studying abroad (from easter europe to the west), my exam season is in full swing but i cant work on anything because of my mother, she insists on "helping" me but in reality she is traping me in this controlling situation, she wants to check my work daily, give me pop quizes daily, and but in to remind me to work.
The thing is I study graphic design, most of my exams are projects with very personal topics i dont necessarily want to share with her.
She is already doing 1 of my projects and is stressing more about this than me witch is stressing me out as well. Not to mention she keeps threatening me with not letting me go back to uni.
Is there a way to even try and explain i feel trapped? Is it even worth it or should I endure until im back to my support sistem?
Hey @suntceva, thank you for opening up and sharing your current experiences. It sounds like you are under an enormous amount of pressure right now, not just from exams but from the situation with your mum. Studying abroad is already a huge emotional and academic challenge, and having someone constantly checking your work, quizzing you, and threatening your ability to return to uni would make anyone feel trapped.
It makes complete sense that you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unsure how to handle it. Graphic design projects are personal, expressive, and often vulnerable, you’re absolutely allowed to want privacy around them. Having someone insert themselves into your creative process, or even do your project, takes away your autonomy and adds pressure you shouldn’t have to carry.
A lot of people in similar situations find that trying to explain the feeling of being trapped only works if the other person is willing to listen. Sometimes parents mean well but end up crossing boundaries because they’re anxious themselves. Other times, they’re simply not ready to hear it. You know your mum best, so it's best to trust your instincts about whether a conversation would help or make things worse.
Some people handle this by gently framing it around the expectations of their course, saying things like “my tutors want this to be my own work” or “I need to practice independence because that’s part of the assessment”. Others set small boundaries like working in a separate room or sharing only finished pieces instead of drafts. But if she’s already threatening your ability to return to uni, it’s understandable that you’re scared to push back.
It’s also completely valid to decide that the safest option is to endure things until you’re back with your support system. Sometimes survival mode is the most realistic choice, especially when you’re abroad and dependent on someone for housing or finances.
You’re not wrong for feeling trapped. You’re not wrong for wanting space. And you’re not wrong for protecting your education and your mental health.
If you'd ever like to discuss 1:1 with a listener how you are feeling, please do request a chat on the platform. You deserve to feel supported in this.
Sending hugs💜
