roommate problems
hi everyone! i'm currently a first year student in college. my roommate and i are friends, and we hang out with the same people, but we are not compatible as roommates. our sleep schedules don't align and we have different values and beliefs. she comes in the room way past midnight and is not quiet about it, which wakes me up. she also tends to do various chores and tasks around the room. when confronted, she cites her insomnia as the cause and doesn't do anything about it. i've tried going to bed earlier so i can still get a good amount of sleep but she complains that she can't do what she wants to do when i'm getting ready for bed (i.e. homework, calling other people, having friends over, etc.). i've tried to compromise so much and it feels like she isn't trying at all. she also is emotionally and mentally unstable and has yelled at me for trying to compliment her outfit. ultimately i have decided to go somewhere else for the spring semester, and we had a conversation about it. however, it feels like she is now trying to guilt trip me and purposely wake me up at night. she called her mother, boyfriend, and housing about having to get a new roommate for the spring, on speakerphone while i was in the room. she has been eating chips at night from crinkly bags while i sleep. she took down the polaroid she had of us on her bulletin board. she sets the thermostat much colder than i can tolerate when she comes in the room. i don't know what to do and i don't know how to confront her, as she tends to have some narcissistic tendencies. any advice??
That’s a really difficult situation to live in. Living with someone whose habits and values are so different can be incredibly challenging, especially when it starts to impact your well-being and sleep. If you feel comfortable, try having a calm and respectful conversation with your roommate again. Clearly communicate your boundaries. For instance, agree on quiet hours or establish rules about using the room at certain times to respect each other's sleep schedules and personal space. Given the complexity of the situation and your roommate's behaviors, it might be best to involve a mediator or someone from your college's housing department. They might be able to provide solutions or help mediate a conversation between you and your roommate. Try to keep a record of the disturbances and any instances that are affecting your ability to sleep or live comfortably. This documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the situation. It's important to prioritize your well-being and find a living situation that allows you to thrive academically and emotionally. I hope you manage to resolve the issue as smoothly as possible without much trouble.
Sending love,
Kal.