Dealing with addiction of my fiancee
I'm not sure this is the appropriate place for me to talk about my problem. I'm not an alcoholic myself, but my fiancé is. In fact, he has one of the most addictive personalities I've ever known. Anyway, it's alcohol now and has been off and on for years. It's bad, but getting better, much to my astonishment. He's asked me to help him wean off the stuff to avoid the worst of the withdrawals and that's what we've been doing. I still can't help but think that it's not going to work,though. We've been through this I don't know how many times. He's living w relatives who won't let him drink so it has to be snuck into the house. And if I make a mistake and give him too much he becomes viciously verbally abusive. Is it possible he can really change? I want a life with him. Not this. Has anyone had any success quitting, and do you have any advice
@intellectualDrum1407 you are very brave to try to help your loved one break an addiction. To understand the challenges you and fiancee face, let's look at the components of addiction.
Physical addiction - you can wean the body off the alcohol and manage to reduce cravings, but this does not solve the whole problem
The emotional and habitual dependence is more emotional and mental so even though you break physical dependence there is still the mental habits and emotional cravings that make one want to go off the wagon. This has been dealt with by AA and other 12 step programs by insuring that people have a support system that will help them not fall into addiction again and a new mental framework. If your fiance will not seek to change the self concept and the mind, relapse is more likely.
You may find that AA also has support organizations for relatives and friends of alcoholics. https://www.al-anon.org/
A therapist may help you clarify your own feelings. Starting out being a caregiver for your fiancee can become a full blown case of you carrying them for a long time. Burnout is a serious risk. Before committing to this relationship seeking professional guidance for yourself makes good sense.
I'm dealing with an alcoholic. I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS
