First timer, how bad is my alcohol problem
I know to some degree I am an alcoholic, but I wonder if it is as bad as my wife tells me. I like to have a 1-2 beers a night after work. My wife considers the frequency of my drinking to be excessive and has come to shame me for wanting to drink. So to avoid her shaming I have resulted to secretly drinking my 1-3 beers while she is Gone. Is my frequency excessive? I know the secrecy is not ok.
I’m glad you know the secrecy is not okay, that’s a big red flag for an alcohol use disorder. Typically, a man should not have more than 14 drinks a week, and women 7 drinks per week. If you’re staying under that, you’re technically within the limits. But the problem itself is subjective, as it’s already causing tension in your marriage.
Thank you for your response. I’m right about at 14 drinks a week. As my wife and I have spent less time around each other this past week and I’ve continued to drink the same, I haven’t felt nearly as bad as I have in the past. And I’ve talked to some friends and they have also expressed that what I’ve been doing isn’t excessive. I haven’t gotten “drunk” at all just buzzed. So I’m feeling better about things.
I think what a good indicator is how it is effecting your physical and mental health. This is my first day sober. I had to quit since what works be considered a fairly moderate amount of drinking was destroying my health. I feel like it's especially hard-because my doctor and I are the only ones who see it as a problem.
I’m proud that you can acknowledge that what was once a manageable amount has changed to a harmful situation. I’ve found that blunt honesty with the ones closest to me has allowed me to open up with people and create positive communication. Which I hope could also help you feel comfortable to reaching out.
Well first of all, at least you care what your wife thinks and are acknowledging the situation. My husband drinks about a whole 12 pk everyday! He'll take Thurs and Sun off - he's gta prepare for Friday and Saturday to get extremely wasted w/his friends and then during the rest of the week he will drink a lot after work w/ppl hanging out. We have an auto shop together. And he just doesn't care if I see him getting drunk. That is a true alcoholic. You just like to relax I suppose after work? Don't turn into a lush like my husband please!
I’m feel for you. I hope that he at least provides some positive times with you in all of this. Some fun and laughter. Be honest with yourself and him as much as you can. And hopefully he can appreciate you for the love and effort you’ve given.