My sobriety is at risk and I’m trying so hard

I’m a recovering addict (crack, meth and alcohol mainly)and my boyfriend is also an addict. He says he’s been clean and sober and I want to believe him so bad but my gut tells me something is wrong. He is a -recovering?-addict. (H, Fentanyl, crack and I would say meth as well). He never used to drink but was beginning to drink more and more before a terrible accident he had.

Anyway.

I’m afraid he’s using again even though he says he’s not. And it’s scaring the living *** out of me because he used to OD all the time off Fent snd heroin and now Fent is in everything and everyone is OD ing and I’ve lost two or more people to OD recently. I don’t want to lose him.

Or myself. I am afraid that all the worry and anxiety is going to cause me to relapse. What should I do? I’m trying so hard to stay sober.

I have severe PTSD from him and myself overdosing and I dont want to lose him. I’m so scared. Ugh. Advice??

He told me he’s going to drink tonight and Im freaked out because I don’t want to be with someone that is using anything. As *** as that may sound. I can’t bare to lose one more person. 😭💔