Why You Shouldn't Apologize for Not Drinking

"The phrase “on the wagon” arose from the 19th-century practice by the Temperance Movement’s driving water wagons, normally used to spray dirt roads to keep down the dust, through towns to encourage people to drink water rather than go to saloons and pubs to drink alcohol. People were encouraged to get onto the water wagon and take an oath to drink only water.

Over time, the phrase has come to imply that anyone getting “on the wagon” has done so because they have a problem with alcohol. In other words, today, people who choose not to drink are often presumed either to be alcoholics or critical of others who drink alcohol. A brief look at current data quickly disproves this assumption.

On average, scientific surveys find up to 40 percent of Americans over 18 do not drink. Men (63 percent) are more likely to drink alcohol than women (57 percent).¹ Averaged over the past two years, Gallup polls found 63 percent of Americans age 18 and older drink alcohol, whereas 36 percent described themselves as “total abstainers.”²

Clearly, it is normal for most people to drink, while it is equally normal for well over a third of the population not to drink. Only approximately 15-20 percent of drinkers are harmfully dependent on alcohol, contributing to 140,000 deaths annually in the U.S.³

Harvard addiction medicine professor John Kelly heads the Recovery Research Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital. Kelly found that roughly 22.3 million Americans—more than 9 percent of adults—live in recovery from some form of substance-use disorder.⁴ This means that the vast majority of people choosing not to drink alcohol do so “voluntarily” and not because dependence on alcohol has become a significant enough problem to pressure them into abstinence.

Given the free choice made by those who do not drink, often propelled by a desire to optimize wellness, the kinds of projections frequently made on abstainers by those who drink become more interesting. What is the purpose of projecting weakness or a history of problem drinking onto people who are merely striving for greater wellness? Why do drinkers often feel some degree of awkwardness when others turn their glass upside down and refuse an offer to partake? Why do drinkers create pressure on others to join them? Are they defending against presumed (i.e., projected) criticism?

In treating many recovering from alcohol use disorder, I have heard endless stories of how old drinking friends have shamed and shunned them for no longer joining in “the fun.” I have even heard nondrinkers worry about upsetting friends if they did not accept a glass of their favorite wine offered at a dinner party. No one should be made to feel strange for striving to be as healthy as possible.

How can you resist the pressure to drink?

• Know the facts. It is as normal not to drink as it is to drink.
• Understand that pressure to drink says more about those doing the pressuring than those resisting the pressure.
• Don't be judgmental about the choice others make to drink. Most drink responsibly, even mindfully.
• Acknowledge drinking is enjoyable for many people despite having some health risks. We all take calculated risks in life.
• Remind yourself that we all have to deny ourselves one thing or another—alcohol or optimal wellness.

You do not have any reason to apologize for a personal lifestyle choice that fosters wellness."

*No matter the reason, you do not have to explain and/or apologize for not drinking. It is no one's business what you do and I will always stand by that. I know not drinking at a social event when everyone else is may be awkward at times, but don't let that discourage you! True friends won't care if you drink or not and what matters is that you are spending quality time with your loved ones! You can get a fun mocktail even! There shouldn't be any pressure to drink and if you are experiencing pressure, you shouldn't be friends with those people. Please always do what is right for you. ❤️ Have you ever experienced peer pressure to drink, regardless if you drink or not? What did you learn from the situation?*

#Alcohol #HealthyLiving #LivingWell

Please find the full article at Psychology Today.

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