unsure?
hello, im unsure if I’m addicting or not but I’m just scared. im underage whenever I get the chance I drink alcohol. it’s been a little while since I’ve had alcohol and it’s so bad because I’ve been crying about not having alcohol. I have it in my house but there’s no way I could get it without my family finding out so I haven’t been able to drink any. the last time I got drunk was in January and I almost had to go to the hospital. what happened is that I was with my friend and I wanted to get f*cked up badly. so after I had like 8 shots of vodka I was like completely out of control and was really drunk. but my friend had videos of me saying “I wanna get f*cked up” and in total I had 25 shots in about two hours. it wasn’t just off vodka, it was also tequila, whiskey, and more. after that I started drinking straight from the bottle. right after that I started throwing up non stop. I don’t remember any of this but my friend has so many videos and I cringe everytime I look back at it. but I do remember how I felt. my whole body felt limp yet tingly. I blacked out a couple times and threw up some more. it was like a whole cycle. a lot more happened like stuff with me getting in trouble but I don’t want this to be too long. but the thing that scares me the most is that throwing up is one of my worst fears and I’d think that after throwing up non stop, not being able to feel any part of my body, getting in a lot of trouble, and so much more that I’d want to stop drinking. but thats the thing, it makes me want to drink even more. because I didn’t feel anything and my mind wasnt overthinking at all and I just want that feeling. I know it’s bad for my health but alcohol is the only way that I feel relaxed and is the only way I don’t overthink. I have really bad social anxiety and I fidget/shake when I’m around people so I haven’t really been around people unless there was alcohol because when theres alcohol in my system I don’t fidget, I don’t shake, I’m not scared to talk to people, I’m not tense, I’m not anything. I’m just free. but I’m scared because I don’t want to have to have alcohol to be able to speak to people or I don’t want to have to rely on alcohol for everything. and I don’t get awful hangovers so I think that’s why I’m not scared of having alc. but all I know is that when there’s alc anywhere around me, I cant control myself.
im sorry that was so long, I didn’t want it to be so long.
Your message reminded me of myself and Iv been bad with drinking :( . I drink cause of depression and stress
honestly forget what I said because I’m pretty sure my friends told me that’s why most teens drink so I guess it’s just normal then. sorry about that.
It can be difficult trying to stay away from alcohol especially if it's something that you do often. There are a lot of teens yes that do find themselves in situations where they drink. Whether it's because of peer pressure and they just want to fit in or be accepted by their peers, or they're curious and just want to try it out. Whatever the case may be but once you start drinking, it gets addictive. I also know that once you try to get off of something, it doesn't happen overnight and you'll never drink in your life again but it's a process. So if you think you can make it a few days without drinking, then by all means, try it. Then push for another day...then a week but at least try not to even have the bottle near you. Down the contents down the sink, throw away the bottle and try to keep yourself occupied by watching tv or going out with friends( no drinking involved) or spend quality time with your family or whatever you like to do really but try your best to make that effort and stay clear off the alcohol
thank you. im going to try but it’s so hard because all my friends are talking about drinking during spring and summer and i know the second summer starts every night I’m going to be drinking. it’s like the longer I go without alcohol, the more I constantly need it. but you’re right. I’m going to just try and find ways that will occupy me so I won’t really think of alcohol at all.
You better go to AA meetings ! You should find a sobriety living friend . And talk about the rage full drinking cravings .
I understand. Addiction is a broad word. What I mean by that is even if it doesn't look like, or feel like you are addicted, in reality, which means present and future it's still going to impact you. One beer or 10 beers, it starts to feel like Nothing. It starts to feel like breathing oxygen, you can't notice or tell. It's better to stay away from drinking and drinkers because One day you'll Realize you're drinking to make yourself feel better, and it'll feel like you'll be drinking alone because you won't have those fears anymore. No more being a cool kid, or fear of hangovers. You walk the road in a self driven car. Regret feels worse when you are suffering from with-drawl when mixed with a toxic life. Happy soul = fun time. Even though it seems okay now it's just a gateway to heavy drinking. Forget doing it for someone else and take care of your self and your body. That's the only thing you will have now and the only thing you will have in ten years and the only thing you will have when you are on your death bed. Sorry to be so explicit. Do the right thing and in the end happiness will find a way to manifest itself, and you will be able to remember it.
