Alcoholic self-medication.
Hi I'm Jason. I am a chronic alcoholic who uses it mainly not to feel. I spent much of my life trying to avoid pain and confrontation only to suffer them worse as a result. I also want to become a Listener if anyone can tell me how I'd appreciate that. All my best, folks.
Hi Jason. I’ve reached my bottom this November when I was drinking on the job.
I know now- finally, after 3 stints in rehabs and now this- I know if I walk through that door again- I just can’t get myself out of that damn Hotel California.
Now I am at home- no longer employed.
@reservedThinker7510 What you said about drinking to not feel really hits. A lot of people use alcohol that way at first, just to get some space from pain or conflict, and then it quietly becomes the thing that creates more of it. Not because you did anything wrong, but because numbing works until it doesn’t.
The fact that you can see that pattern now says a lot about your self awareness. Wanting to become a Listener also says something important. People who’ve sat with pain often know how to sit with others without judgment.
You’re welcome here, and you’re not alone in this. It sounds like you’re already moving toward something more honest and meaningful, even if it feels uncomfortable right now.
