Alcohols abused and now addicted
I was 14 when I was alcohol abused by my father. He gave my sister and I alcohol, and used physical violence that would ensure us drink alcohol. Even now, I feel addicted to it, I once fell into porn addiction too, not being able to contemplate my choices at the moment when I was still drunk. I feel exhausted, my teeth coloured in yellow and transparent, my spines shorter than my friends in general, my intelligence slower and blunter than my friends, my health in general, worse than my friends, my black eye bags caused by the almost always constant fighting and arguing between my parents and my sister, my rumination at night thinking if I'll survive, my overthinking if I'll even be able to be accepted into a college, my academic performance held back, my imagination damaged, my life greyer, my desires suicidal, my needs unmet occasionally, my discipline broken, my motivation cold, my enthusiasm cold, my passion on heat.
@andrewtan99
I would love to give you a lending ear if you would like :)
My blackmailing father won't let me tell you anything, I'm sorry.
@andrewtan99
Hey Andrew,
First, I want to acknowledge the immense strength it took for you to share your story. It’s clear that you’ve endured so much pain and hardship, and I’m deeply sorry that you’ve had to carry such heavy burdens. 🌿
While it might feel overwhelming right now, please know that the fact you’re reaching out is already a huge step toward healing. You’ve been through so much, but it doesn’t define your future or who you are. Your past is a part of your story, but it is not the final chapter. The things you’ve endured, the struggles you face, and the pain you feel don’t diminish your worth. They speak to your incredible resilience and strength. ✨
You are so much more than the struggles you’ve faced. Yes, the weight of addiction, trauma, and pain is real, but I believe that with the right support, compassion for yourself, and time, you can begin to heal. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, but with every small step, you’re moving toward a future where you can regain your health, your confidence, and your joy. Your worth is not defined by your past or by the mistakes you feel you’ve made. You are worthy of healing and peace. 🌸
Please be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel exhausted, it’s okay to have doubts and fears—these are part of your journey. But I want you to remember that you are never alone in this. There are people who care, people who want to help you find your way, and there is always hope. The future is still full of possibilities, and you are not stuck. Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
Your health, your joy, your peace, and your passion are all possible again. You deserve all of it. Keep holding on, and know that even in your darkest moments, there is light waiting to guide you. Your life can be brighter, and you can feel joy again. 🌟
You’ve got so much strength inside of you. Keep going—there’s more beauty, healing, and hope ahead than you can imagine. 💖
Much love,
Kayla 💕💫