Blurp

@AGirlWithAWeirdName

There's nothing “dramatic” about valid feelings, and all honest feelings are valid.

It sounds like the options you are weighing are “maltreatment and emotional torture,” and absence of support. The self-question, “how are you going to cope if you walk out,” suggests that you're finding something of value in the circumstances of the maltreatment. That sounds analogous to taking bitter medicine because you have reason to believe it will heal you.

The author, Napolean Hill wrote: Every adversity contains within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. I'm not sure it's true about every adversity, but in my life, I can't remember many hardships that didn't also bring forth lessons, strength and wisdom.

My criteria for assessing “overthinking,” are things like if it's really hard to stop thinking about it, and if the thoughts start repeating, with no sign of progressing towards understanding or a solution. When that happens, recognizing it helps, especially with the understanding that there are different states of mind in which considering the issue will be more productive. For example, it's unlikely to be useful to think about something that's irritating at a time when you're already feeling irate.

I think “gut feelings” are often emotional responses that are programmed into our DNA, such as fear of the unknown, or of the dark. Despite their ancient origins, they still can be helpful to convey the message that “something's off.” Such feelings need to be considered calmly and carefully, as they're not always reality based warnings. For example, walking into a dark room in a familiar place may still offer a tweak of foreboding, while at the same time you know it's safe.

Few people feel good at existing on their own. I think there needs to be a balance between interdependence and autonomy. Humans aren't good at total self-reliance, unless they're living wild in the wilderness. Humans who are dependent on the approval of others, or have anxiety issues when separate from others, need help. At the same time, it's a wonderful gift to be valued, and to a reasonable extent, needed , but not in an absolute sense as though perceiving that survival requires the presence of a specific person.

I think the most sublime form of love exists between two individuals who can celebrate each other's presence, while at the same time realizing they can choose self-sufficiency if circumstances call for it.

I hope you find emotional support that doesn't include maltreatment.