How do I

How do u feel joy n motivation again wo any substance to make u feel that way?! Im sober but keep having a day a month where i slip bc i just want the energy n the motivation to want to do anything else but waste away watching tv all day n night! I’m so tired of drugs n know once im clean for a long amount of time things will get better but i just hate the way I don’t have any interest or even any hobby anymore. I am however on this journey to find my best self n want that more than anything else so I make myself do meditation a gratitude list n workout video for 5 mins no matter how I feel n it does make me more positive so that’s great! But how do u stop feeling numb in ur body where u can’t even get chills anymore when experiencing something beautiful? Btw im bipolar, adhd, ocd, severe depression, n anxiety disorders or that’s what they say i have but God has completely changed my brain n the intrusive racing thoughts have disappeared n it’s peaceful in my mind so im optimistic n hopeful about my future but learned to live in the present. Now i want the passion joy n happiness I feel like I deserve! How long does it have to be sober before u get all that back? Plz someone give me some suggestions! Thanks for reading all of this if u did!