Just Venting

I just need to vent. Not really looking for advice, I can't actually change things and the things. I can, but I won't because I can't be selfish. 

Another fight. Not a bad one, no screaming. Just hanging up mid conversation. Because they made a decision while drunk and gave their word to someone, while drunk. So I had to follow through on the promise they made while drunk. But of course they don't remember and now don't agree to it. So I'm the bad guy for following through, and also the bad guy if I don't follow through. Because when I don't follow through on their drunk promises they tell everyone I'm just being a ***, I'm just being controlling and won't let them follow through. So either I follow through and they get mad or I don't and they make sure I look bad. 

I wish other people could see it. They stay sober for work, so everyone around them sees a sober person who gets things done and follows through and is super reliable. But no one sees them at home, no one sees that the first thing they do when they walk in the door is grab a drink. They even tell people they quit drinking, and then claim it's true because they don't drink hard alcohol anymore (accept when they do and that doesn't actually count because it's just some cocktails at the bar a few times a month and they order food they don't eat so it's ok it's not really drinking). So no one sees the nights of passed out drunk by 6pm, those are the really good nights. And no one sees the drunk and yelling at me about something stupid that I did or that they imagine I did. And no one sees them make promises they won't keep and me having to decide if I'm going to be the bad guy or be the bad guy this time. No one sees them stumble in at midnight and wake me up knowing I have to be up at 5am. No one hears them calling me names, telling me my cooking is ***, telling me the house isn't clean enough. No one sees that I do all of the house work so I don't have to live in filth or that I do all of the child care because I can't let a drunk person be in charge of a toddler. 

No one sees. No one hears. I'm alone. 

Everyone sees the hero that's raising their grand child. Everyone sees the person working hard because they care so much about their family. Everyone sees the long suffering partner who has to put up with a controlling *** at home. 

And no one sees me. I just want to be seen.