Lil Vent
Hello all! I’m not sure in how to format things, but here we go.
Ive spent months trying to find a different coping mechanism, but one of the only ways i know i’ll stop overthinking is if I’m intoxicated and apathetic. giggling at *** for hours and not having to remember.
it feels like nothing brings me solace besides that, and it makes it so much harder to remind myself that i had to quit my job because it was too physically taxing to keep circling the Drink Work Repeat timeline.
What the heck do you do if nothing even sparks joy or interest??? how can you teach yourself to ENJOY it?
@ruinedraccoon
So drinking helps you forget and not overthink ... you feel you have no choice and you have little or no interest in other things. That is the hook that keeps people drinking.
On the other hand the after effects of drinking have cost you the ability to keep a job and I can imagine a good deal of time either sleeping it off or not remembering chunks of time in your life.
The reality is in life few things are so fun or interesting that we giggle for hours about anything or are SO interesting all the time. We learn to enjoy the small parts of fun .... take the good things and do not overthink about the boring parts.
correct. i don’t live through most of my life, and even when i do, i can’t remember it. maybe topics but i know for a fact i say things that are misinterpreted or just flat out Not something you should say.
im kinda dumping a little just about emotions and how it perturbs me, but my instant reaction is just ‘NO’ and i can’t fully think or plan about trying to push myself through. i want everything good, but i can’t even brush my teeth to go out. brushing hair for work.
ive been told i have to ‘grow up,’ but it feels impossible knowing that even if i fail, all of this is also a comfort. i want life to be worth living, and i put forward so much effort every single day to make it. simply listening to people and giving structured replies about their issues or feelings, applying and working for a job, planning family events. normal crap that just makes me feel like i’m whittling away.
i’m in therapy and working on finding more care paths, i assume i need medication, because talking is helping but i dont seem to be feeling any better vs. doing *** i’m supposed to. just, with the alcoholism, that’s usually not something you should do too lol.
@ruinedraccoon
Hello 🙂
My name is Kermit, I have been sober from alcohol about 18 months with 1 relapse. I used to drink to float and not feel the root cause which was trauma pain. I used to drink to quite down all those voices in my head that would lie to me..
I didn't have joy or will to want to get out of bed.. I started therapy and worked on it wasn't confident in the process. Adopted this pup that basically gave me that push I needed to start taking care of myself.
I started building better habits and took out all the safety float kit and trashed it. Replaced it with mindfulness, coloring, pup walks, pmr therapy , venting. Not everyday is a good day but I hit rock bottom and had to crawl out.
I have to find my own joy and insert glimmer some days it's tacos, and dunkin 🙂.
If you ever need to talk please message me. This journey isn't easy but it is so possible. Rooting for your sobriety and healing. Sending you lots of strength and glimmer.
🐸✨️✨️✨️