Trying to stop
I had a really bad drug addiction since I was 13, now years later I’m still trying my best to not go back to my old ways but I can’t help but look through medicine cabinets to find something, I feel so alone
@azureEyes9042
I don't know your specific struggles, but I've had some experience with reliance on substance.
I used to rely on weed in order to cope with depression. At first, it worked pretty well. Allowed a more comfortable existence. But it changed over time... I don't know when, but I soon realised I didn't want to do anything sober. It wasn't fun unless I was high. Then I realised it wasn't fun any more at all.
I demanded money back from friends in order to pay for it. I began selling things I cared about in order to make ends meet. And then I just kind of knew I had to stop.
There was one night I remember when I couldn't get any. And I felt... alright. The world didn't end. And I actually felt proud I didn't feel so reliant on it.
I had ups and downs with the quitting process. But I was where you're at now: recognising I needed to change. It may just be a seed now, but if you water it, it will grow into a tree. A beautiful one that gets you higher than any drug could.
I realised my life was kind of meaningless and hollow on weed. So I began doing meaningful things. Trying to get good pictures of birds, as capturing something so often in motion felt meaningful. Reading and writing poetry for the same reasons. Just connecting with nature and people, living with self-imposed purpose.
It seems there's a void in you. You need to fill it with good things, nourish the soul. Trust me, eventually you won't feel so hollow, you won't need a crutch. It's definitely a journey and I have a feeling your struggles are harder than mine, but I do relate.
Try and reinforce your thinking behind why you want to stop. Reflecting by yourself and with others helps a lot. Explore why you were doing it in the first place, and question: is it actually fulfilling? Your very post seems to suggest it doesn't sit well with you and you'd like to change.
Stay strong friend. Don't beat yourself up if you stumble. Seek professional help if you can, support groups are a good way to reflect.
Maybe my problems aren't that serious, but I really understand you
Maybe my problems aren't that serious, but I really understand you
