4 months sober - do the negative/anxiety inducing thoughts ever stop?
This one thing I am proud of, I managed to get myself clean from an amphetamine addiction where 5/7 days I was high. I hit my rock bottom in November and havent touched anything since. I walk daily and cycle as often as I can - lost weight - skin looks great but the “you’re such an idiot” or “why did you do that” thoughts come and plague me almost incessantly. I used to quiet them down with *drum roll* coccaine but that’s not an option anymore. So I walk. The dog is happy about all the walks. But once the walk is done and the tasks at hand are also completed- the self-depreciation comes back. I’m plodding along as best I can but I need to get this right and under control. Tips welcomed
Absolutely amazing well done for giving up . How was the withdrawal for you ? That took amazing strength and courage to do what you did .
Self depreciation is my hardest problem. You sound like me, always taking my walks then more walking with my dog .
Really don't worry, the negative thoughts will stop. But it doesn't require time in itself, it requires spiritual growth. By that I mean, you will want to increase your willpower/Zen, your pain-resistence and what you receive the feeling of reward (dopamine trigger) on. I understand what you say about walks a lot. But in order to make the process better, you not only have to increase your heights and go for walkies, you also have to make your lows more harmless. Question the pain and withdrawal when your walk has ended. Or take the pain in and feel these feelings. Feel rewarded by being strong and in control. Understand that there are hard and soft energies. Sometimes soft energy is very powerful. You could just concentrate on relaxing your body deeper and deeper while the pain tries to hit you, and you would understand that it can't truly hurt you. Meh, there's so much to tell.