Accountability buddy??
I am struggling yet again..... 10383 steps forwards (and a many a year's and hurtles to overcome and accomplish such) to only stumble backwards with great force and landing smack flat on my face. This got me thinking... Maybe an accountability buddy could help?? A daily check in or struggle stop spot....open to ideas that could be helpful to someone else also so please if your interested message.
I personally struggle with meth but oddly only when with ex. I don't do it myself or want to its like an 'us' thing and really this is my addiction. Problem is I do withdraw and struggle after and left with it. This is more good than bad but I can't keep being in this toxic place. The emotional abuse it inflicts on myself more from myself than any other is only somehow harder to break through, lost all confidence and self worth and only focus on being what my ex could want. Am never enough.
@tornwillow
Hi, I just found this site. I could use a buddy. Ended a narcissitic relationship July 1 when I caugh him in my bed on a dating site at 7 am. He denied it and then left. We have not talked until today. He got pissed off and flew to his moms house in florida. This is the most distructive relationship. He hit me in 2018 and has cheated forever. But here I anm super stupid and begging him to fix us. What the hell?
None of my friends want to speak with me and I have no life without this guy. He is like a drug that I can not drop. I need a friend to keep me from contacting him.
@fairydust2020
@fairydust2020
Hey there. I have just joined here hoping to find people to help me and who I also may be able to help.
Your post hit a chord with me as I have been addicted to chat rooms and dating sites and it has had a big impact on the ones I love, particulalry my wife, who has supported me but is begining to lose all patience.
If you're interetsed in charing your experience in relation to your partner, maybe I could help. Although not sure how the mest way to communicate here.
Best of luck.
@ScottF82 hi and welcome, thanks for being so open and honest, so glad you found us!! Would love to suare and chat.
@fairydust2020
Well not only did i stuff up, as per original post in this thread and saw ex once, no no OF CAUSE went back for round two. As i do. Always. (really we are four years broken up so if we get real we are long beyond round 2)
I saw him again and pathetically begged and bribed his attention and time. Im easy money see, no crime and he then gets drugs. I use with him so my real self isnt rejected and it lwads to intimacy however wild and crazy style, i put self down as almost protection which has caused huge confidence and insecurities since. I also ended up sleeping with him and his mate, doing what he wants and conpromising self. This happened when i first used with him and lost control of all senses and he just enjoyed going with whatever as one would enjoy benefits/advantage. This shattered me when realised what extent things happened - you can only imagine especially when drugs were drive. I am so g it is not funny and very loyal and nieve. The idea of being shared or anything is not the love i want to know. Yet what did i do tonight.... Was subconsciously i testing him..... He didnt care wanting me to own my decisions yet halfway through messages the girl he left me for (the 2nd one) i feel pathetic, not enough, gross and just shattered.
@fairydust2020 so glad you found this and felt could reach out, thanks for sharing but having said this so sorry to hear of your pain and experience.
We tend to chase and want what we can't have. Gosh knows how it is red flags send us crazy. I can empathise 100% but we need to try to respect ourselves and not tolerate less than we deserve. If it is meant to be it will and we deserve someone who will put in as much effort.
We can chat anytime, id love this
