Green & m's and sex

Not even joking my life been *** since I was small but it is what it is being from NYC you learn to get over it or fake it till you make it

Not even going to start on my past cuz thats to long and dont think this is the place for it so ill just start where it got bad and how I started my addiction please my spelling not great im sorry in advance

Well bad relationship and acting foolish lead me to think about coming to Florida my moms didn't help selling fake dreams about it being better in FL so I came with nothing but a couple bags and myself biggest mistake ever

1 already knew I couldn't trust my moms but my 18 self thinking thats my moms after all

2 should have known she had no income she never had a real job

3 should have known she needed me more then I needed her

But I still came didn't know she was living in a motel doing sex work on top of having my 3 siblings with her in this motel but once I got here and seen what was going on I knew I was doomed with no way back home

She didn't want me to work but also didn't let me do anything but watch her kids

(Something you should know only reason I started smoking weed at 15 was because of my Mom she's the one who showed me what it was)

I went from having everything to have a nothing then money started getting low and I had to go back to hustling in a place that I don't know we all know that they didn't work well so was told I had to do the same thing she was cause I couldn't find a job and she couldn't afford all of us

What you can do when you don't have ID or high school not to mention employment history none at all so it all began

I started smoking more to deal with doing it cuz I didnt wanna then I went up to the m's cuz green stopped doing anything and been chasing a high ill never be able to get again just to not feel anything shoot im smoking now as I type this not feeling a high or anything just emotions I can't control bad part is I may be pregnant if not finally dying from the inside out for real this time

I can keep going be feel like this was long enough

Think I should write a book on what I've been through idk tho what u think feel like ill hurt myself or someone else if I do