My current issue
I abuse my own prescription pills whenever I’m doing bad. I don’t know how else to cope. I was prescribed strong adhd meds in the past, and I used to take 3/4x the dose to get high from them so I could cope with mental illness. Then I overdosed on them in October and had to go to hospital, and so they changed the prescription.
now I’m on lorazepam for anxiety, which is a benzodiazepine. whenever I have a mental breakdown and I’m sobbing and screaming, I just take around 4-8mg of them and it knocks me out for many hours so I don’t have to experience the pain.
I know this isn’t good. Long term benzo use creates dependence and withdrawal, and im already doing this once or twice a week since December.
I just don’t know how else to cope other than to use substances that will make me feel better…
@leptopoma
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with mental illness and turning to prescription pills as a way to cope. It's important to acknowledge that what you're doing is not sustainable and can lead to serious harm. I encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional who can work with you to develop healthier coping mechanisms.
It can be difficult to reach out for help, but it's an significant step towards recovery. There are many resources available, such as therapy and support groups, that can help you learn new ways to manage your symptoms. Your doctor can also help you find alternative medications that are less addictive and harmful than benzodiazepines.
In the meantime, it may be helpful to develop a self-care plan that includes healthy activities that you enjoy and that promote relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. You can also reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Remember that recovery is a process, and it takes time and effort to develop new habits and coping strategies. But with the right support and resources, you can find healthier ways to manage your mental health and live a fulfilling life.
Are you still also on adhd meds? Or did they cut them out all together? I’m wondering if what you’re experiencing is more brain chemical trouble than will power or personality.
But also did I read your post right and you’re having breakdowns once per week? Was that only since the overdose, or before it as well?
Has it always been one thing that causes the breakdowns, or a series of unrelated but difficult to process things?
Thanks for sharing so much already. I think that was very brave.
