RELAPSE
Hello everybody, I'm a recovering heroin addict. I haven't quite figured out how this app works yet, and honestly I'm not liking it so far. I haven't been able to connect with anyone I could actually speak with about my problems. I used heroin for over a year, and I used introveniously for half of that time period. The first time I got clean, I was a solid two weeks in and my grandmother died. I was extremely close with my grandma and at the time I had no way of coping healthily, so I turned back to my drug of choice. I struggled through christmas and at the new year I decided to try again. I had four months clean and sober, until last night. My grandmas birthday is next week, and I have a bad habit of self sabotage. I don't understand why, when I've been making so much progress, I feel like I don't deserve better. I feel so guilty. I knew I would feel exactly like this but my urges have been very strong the entire last week. I'm not sure if I chose the right app. I know speaking to a therapist would be the best solution, but I can't afford it. Is there anyone with experience whom I could speak with?
Hi there @CelestiaGlimmer, thank you for reaching out and talking about what you've been going through. Recovery is a journey, and it can take a lot of tries to get to through it. You've done such an amazing job of getting up and trying again multiple times, and these lapses that you've experienced are quite a common experience to go through. When your brain and body crave a substance, it can take numerous attempts to stay abstinent. Its important to remember that despite these lapses, they cannot discount the amazing progress you've made already on your journey. You've achieved a lot, and it is really inspiring. Keep trying to reach out to Listeners here on 7 Cups, we're here to listen to you and be supportive of your journey. We're all here for you!
@CelestiaGlimmer The app can take a bit of adjusting to. I tend to prefer using a computer. I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your grandmother passing away. I can definitely relate and it's far from easy to cope with. It's not uncommon to go back to unhealthy coping mechanisms. It takes a while to re-wire the brain to use healthy coping mechanisms automatically and, even then, there will be times when the cravings are overwhelming. You should still be proud of the four months clean and sober that you accomplished. Even if it may not feel like it, you still learned something during those four months and, even if you relapse, the next time you go to get clean and sober you'll have more knowledge. It won't be easy but that's what we're here for. You're always welcome to PM me, if you'd like as well. I, as well as many others here, know the struggle of recovering, relapsing, and repeat, especially when anniversaries come up or things in general just get stressful. Sometimes it's because things are going too well. It really depends and a consistant support system is important, if not vital, for a healthy recovery. Again, you aren't alone and you can always reach out. I hope that you decide to keep giving 7cups a try and find the parts that you find beneficial.
Hello,
I am a recovering addict for 3 years now. I miss the high cuz I had no care in the world. I was diagnosed with OCD and severe anxiety and I was so calm while I was high. Also, do the cravings EVER go away?