Slipping
I was addicted to heroin for almost 5 years, and was clean for just over a year. But I slipped up and started using again. I hate myself for this. I know I messed up. Im in NA but I fear its not enough. I know I can stay clean if I get my mind back on track, but im not sure what I can do to get myself back where I need to be. I have had an amazing support system of friends here, and I feel like I am failing them more than I am myself. I want to better myself for the people that care the most, and I am trying to. But if I keep slipping, im afraid that may never happen. I need to find away to believe in myself again. Hopefully I can before its too late. Im not using daily, just every now and again, but im afraid of how soon it could become daily again. Gotta stay strong and true to myself!
It's strong of you to want to get past your slip, and so good that you have a good support system! You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I know you can make it through this! Stay strong.
I know your pain all too well. My name is Johnny and I've been battling Alcoholism for several years. Off and on I've been in and out of the room's of AA, and there have been times I was sober(longest being two years), but it always eventually ends up in me with a relapse. Then after feeling like crap and like a complete loser( just my feelings) I go back to the rooms with my head down and being "THE ONE THAT WENT BACK OUT". Everyone's like, "Oh, well I guess he just didn't get it!".Not to say that their are great people that are sponsors. Not to mention how your family feels about your addiction. To your family your "THE BLACKSHEEP" of the family, which makes family reunions not fun at all. Although I can't blame they for my addiction, it's me. I mean I'm the one that chose the drink over them, right? Still doesn't mean I should be forever labelled "THE BLACKSHEEP".
Good luck
sadly, I know your pain well. As a recovering heroin addict I know the ongoing urges and thoughts that come with them. Trust me stay strong you can beat the feelings!