Confused
Hey everyone.
Today i was having online classes. My mum prepared food and asked me and my brother to come and eat. I was waiting till class was over and my brother was lazing around on bed. My class gets over and my mum atarts screaming calling how i don't respect her. I go and grab my food. Then comes my brother who too eats his food. Them my mother looks at me disgustingly and says how lazy, and calls me a stupid idiot as i ahve been lazing stiiting in front of phone while she being very well aware i was attending my classes.
What hurt most, Not. A. Single. Word. To. My . Brother.
I just know that this favouritism is alwasy going to be there. She shuts down my all attempts of talking to her about this behaviour in name of me talking back and being immature. I just want away. Distance. Cuz i love her. I just don't know what to do. How to set boundaries when she is not gonna listen to me.
Any advice?
@loyalPerson9949
Dealing with someone and gaining mutual respect IMO is hard in the parent -child relationship. Avoiding talking is a guarantee nothing changes. If you want to be treated like more adult mode the relationship will need to change.
Have you ever said upfront " I was finishing a class, sorry timing was not great timing, thank you for cooking." ARE you sure she knew you were in class or something you could not just drop. Honestly I did online classes before and people in theory should have known it was school related BUT they thought I was just on the computer not involved with a something I could not just come back to.
Speaking up in respectful ways instead of taking her frustration ( she prepared food and may have felt insulted no one was coming to get it when done) personal and wanting brother to be yelled at also, Is the beginning of dialogue.
When a parent seemingly is scolding one kid and ignoring similar or worse behavior is confusing and frustrating there can be so many things we do not see. some go straight to favoritism or something. My parent i always felt was harder on me .. it caused much friction. The reality was she was not sure how to deal with me as i was more independent and needed her less then siblings. if i knew that earlier we could have had a better relationship.