Friendship issues
Hello everyone, I’m new here and I don’t know if anyone will understand or give me advice, but I’ll try.
Lately, I’ve been feeling really lost and sad about my best friend.
She’s like an older sister to me, and we used to be incredibly close—talking every day, checking up on each other, and having deep conversations. She even asked me to be the godmother of her future daughter.
But over the past few months, just before she got pregnant, I’ve felt our connection fading on her side.
I’ve tried to be a supportive friend—offering flowers when her boyfriend was rude about her appearance, always being there to talk, inviting her out, and even organizing her gender reveal.
But despite everything, I feel like it’s never enough, like I’m not enough for her to not got tired of me maybe I don’t know. She can go 1/2 days without talking to me, and the closeness we once had, like our shared looks and physical affection, has almost disappeared.
Sometimes, I worry she might be taking me for granted—loving me more for what I do than for who I am.
I struggle with feelings of abandonment and often feel like I’m not enough for people to stay. I give everything to make them stay, and now I’m unsure if I’m projecting my issues onto our friendship or if there’s a real problem that I need to address.
I know it can seem like a romantic relationship, as some people have said, lol, but it really isn't. She was just my favorite person in this world. The situation just makes me really sad, and I find myself overthinking things a lot
If anyone has any thoughts or advice, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks in advance!
@optimisticIdea1759 hi I'm lola ❤ welcome to 7 cups ❤ see the thing is people come in and out of our lives all the time, just due to life's circumstances. It's sad, but it's how it goes your best friend as a partner a child on the way, she's moving on, and you kinda need to too. There will always be a friendship between you both, you just need to step back a bit. You said you fear being abandoned, that's not the case here, but you have to understand she has a different life now, just enjoy those memories, and every moment you both spend together ❤ hugs you tightly, I'm sorry sweetie ❤
@Tinywhisper11 The truth served gently with a side of rice, 💙 you may be an emotive chef. My luvs tell me I burn water in that sense, I say I'm better at BBQ but they still put me on the roast. 😹💯
@competentTruth3079 I would probably prefer you fried😁 mmmmmm😋 bites you
@Tinywhisper11 I serve better as fair food. It's that carnival time of year. Funnel cake, an endearing term. Hope the whisp is doing well, and enjoying the summer! I think you're from the foggy UK area, I thought I read. Well, say hello to Nessie for me.
@competentTruth3079 😂😂😂😂 not quite as far up as nessy, I'm in Wales kinda the middle area of the uk, we have dragons here😁😁
Thanks for your message @tinywhisper11 ❤️
in fact, I know that it may seems like the end of the friendship but it really is not😊
I’ve already been through it and it’s not the case, I just didn’t know how to manage the new phase of our friendship.. I love having deep connection with people so when i saw that it was less with her now it just was really paintful.
thanks for your advice, I’ve decided to give her more space, she knows that I am here if needed but I am taking a step back for my own health as you told me to❤️
@optimisticIdea1759 your a good friend, with a great outlook ❤❤ yep the first steps of change can certainly be a scary time, I hope you have lots of meaningful relationships with people. They would be lucky to be your friend ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤
@optimisticIdea1759 it's tough to lose a friend, especially when there was such a strong bond before. Perhaps you can still support your friend- by taking a step back. She may be overwhelmed with the transition and may need some space to sort out her own thoughts and feelings. I know this is painful. You cannot control how your friend behaves, you can only control how you manage the situation.
@optimisticIdea1759
Hi,
First of all I'm really sorry you feel like you're being overseen and "used" in your friendship. I would hope that it's not the case, and that the friend of yours is going through a phase, causing her to oversee your feelings. Overwhelmed with the child and as you mentioned, maybe she has some problems in her relationship too. This is how I would like to think if I were to be sympathetic towards your friend, and seek understanding towards her.
Although, this doesn't mean your feelings are invalid. The "easy" advice would be to mention some of these feeling to your friend. I'm not sure if you've discussed it already, but if not I think it would mean a great deal for both of you. Hoping she cherishes your friendship as much as you do, I think this can be talked out.
In case it doesn't help, maybe she simply needs time, or else it would maybe be time to rethink how much effort you'd like to put into this relationship. No matter what, nothing is more important than your own wellbeing. No matter what you think or feel. This needs to be refreshed once in a while.
I'm no professional, but this is the advice I'd like to give you. Hope everything goes well, you seem like a caring and loving person, whom one would be grateful to have as a friend. Good luck, friend.
thank you all for your support and advice, sorry I hadn't had time to come back and tell you.
and thanks especially to @turquoiseClementine9447, your message really touched and helped me!
Update, I've taken a step back from the situation as you advised, I'm still suffering from the situation but less than before thanks to you, although it's not the end of our friendship as I surely have trouble explaining for you to think.
I'm currently giving her more space as advised, I plan to talk to her about it if the opportunity arises, but I've decided to follow your advice and put less effort into the relationship, I notice it's only going one way although I know she loves me but it really pains me a lot sometimes...
Our friendship isn't going to go away, I just have to adapt to the fact that it will be weaker, I have to shut down the need to be always here and available for her.
And I hope that it's just a phase and that it'll get stronger again when the baby's here and well in place.
thank you all for listening
Hey i am going through the same.my one on friend backstabbed me in last week and then i had a breakup,meet a new guy and he is also taking me for granted now i am feeling sad too,but i am trying journaling,working out,going for walk alone,video journaling,it is helping me,you can try it too,you will feel little better too.don't worry you will feel better,this phase will pass too.Take care.
Hello dear, am sorry that you feel ignored but can you give her some time until she gives birth and then see if the situation remains the same.
Hi I’m Phoebe 💗
my best friend has been dating this girl for five months, but her girlfriend is really overprotective. She can’t escape. Her gf is horrible to me and tries to separate us.
So a couple of weeks ago we met up. We spent the whole day together and I told her how her gf makes me feel. She replied with “I’m sorry, I never knew you felt that way” and we began to get closer again. I was depressed for a couple academic years bc of her gf (still am) but it gives me piece of mind knowing she actually likes to be around me. I can’t really give that much advice but I found talking to her really helped but that might not be the same in all cases. Xx