My mom is ****
I asked her about her high school experience and she said it was both good and bad but then got *** off when I started talking about how mines isn't good, she said that I'm not willing to put myself out there to make friends with girls (I made a friend but she and dad don't like him because to them, he wants to be my boyfriend JUST BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS VALENTINE!) I can't put myself out there because all those students laughed at me and mocked me when I was forced to perform at the winter show with special ed kids, they all saw it and laughed and called me the r word! I couldn't pull out because it counted as a *** grade!! None of them like me! None of them, and then she brings up the fact that she had people come over when I was 10 *** YEARS OLD AND HOW I WAS ACTING UP AND THEY STOPPED COMING AND HOW IT'S MY FAULT I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE FEMALE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF THE KIDS AT SCHOOL THINK I'M TOO UNWORTHY TO TALK TO! I CAN'T CHANGE HOW THEY THINK OF ME! SHE ALWAYS SAYS THAT I SHOULD TELL HER THE TRUTH AND THAT SHE WOULDN'T GET MAD, BUT WHEN I DO THIS IS HOW SHE ACTS! I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE ACTING SO CARELESS AND AGGRESSIVE WHEN I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS AND SAY I STRESS THEM OUT, YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL! YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL MORE MISERABLE THAN I ALREADY AM BECAUSE OF IT, WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN! I HAVE NO ONE ELSE AND YOU ALREADY SAID I'M NOT GONNA GET A THERAPIST BUT YOU AND DAD DON'T WANNA LISTEN WHEN I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS AND NOW I'M NOT ALLOWED TO CALL OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS WHEN I'M FEELING DOWN?!
@Yurnuthere Hey there, these problems are difficult to deal with for sure. If there is anything I can say is to keep on with life. I know I know you might think maybe like "how am I suppose to just keep on with life when everyone/everything feels like it's pushing me down." Well you will just be able after a while you will be able to be numb to it, but try not to be too numb to it because it isn't good to be too numb just enough so that you won't have the stress (like you don't care vibes you know?). If well you think it might not work then maybe tell them that you want to have a talk with them and tell them how you feel and stuff. This problem can be solved by talking to them too so when you can talk to them and it might work.
@Yurnuthere I can tell you are very frustrated even maybe angry. I imagine that these situations are leaving you feeling devalued and ignored. It can be very difficult to communicate with parents sometimes. I can see where you are feeling supported by your parent’s response. I also understand how these situations could affect your ability to trust, but you are still reaching out. You are finding your own path to Acceptence. Rejection from peers can be very hard to take, it is hard to imagine that this chapter in your life is only temporary and there will be many different situations that open up to you, to experience the unconditional acceptance you are craving. The challenge is not to give into your one bad experience and try to not control are the same outcome, because the people will be different and the interest will be different. You are worth experiencing the inclusion. Keeping flexible can be difficult, and sometime the acceptable steps to reach this goal has to be broken down into smaller steps so you can begin to change your perception of meeting new people and risking the devastating feeling of rejection again. Thinking of breaking this fear down, what do you think would be a step you might be able to take so you can broaden your support network in your environment?
@Yurnuthere hey we all been there and I think parents today need to understand that high school was totally different for them back then like even for me when I graduated back in the early 10s high school didn't have the stress that it does today it's like yesterday I was talking to my cousin who is a freshman and guiding her through tough times she's having severe anxiety because she's a freshman in the world isn't the way it used to be you're going through this, but hang in there